NET RESULTS:The .ketchup domain would seem to have few uses, as would .eurovision. And .earth might need interplanetary colonisation, writes KARLIN LILLINGTON

MY HEART did not leap when I read that the internet is likely to get more than a thousand new top-level domains. A thousand! Good grief.

Top-level domains are the abbreviations that appear at the very end of a web address, after the last dot and before any added-on slashes. At the moment, there are fewer than 300, and the vast majority of those are country name domains, such as .ie for Irish domains.

The best-known top-level domains are those good old originals: .com, .org and .net. Less prominent are the others in the net’s original six: .mil (military addresses), .gov (government addresses) and .edu (educational institutions).

A while ago, the governing body that oversees such things, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (Icann) added on a few more, such as .biz, .museum and .mobi (and of course, .xxx), in an attempt to broaden the availability of domain names that were no longer available in the most desired .com top-level domain.

Let's just say these have not been an unqualified success (when is the last time you saw a .museum domain?). Despite the fact that about the only things you can still get on .com are exceedingly long, desperately ridiculous or pure gibberish domains (I see that Bringbacktheceltictiger.comis up for grabs – anyone?), most people insist on plumping for something that can still use .com.

All attempts to steer us all to the other options have been met with general indifference. They do sell, of course. But most of the time, if you go for an alternative top-level domain (TLD), it’s because you are getting additional domains that use the same base of your original .com domain, to prevent someone else from using them.

Or, in the curious, vaguely threatening marketing effort on behalf of .xxx, people not in the sex business have been encouraged to get that version of their .com or .org or .net domain so someone else doesn’t set up a sex business using their root domain name and causing a certain degree of, ahem, confusion.

Then there was the attempt a year ago to push the .co TLD as an alternative to .com. The .co domain is actually a country-level domain – Colombia’s – and there was some controversy about who would manage it and if it would be used by serious businesses.

Yes, it seems to be doing okay, but there’s no sign there’s been any massive embrace of .co, though it is arguably the most obvious alternative to .com. In a sign that the domain’s administrating registry believes it has greater value than, say, .biz, it remains pricey – three or four times the cost of an annual .com registration.

Nonetheless Icann is convinced that what you really, really want is at least a thousand more TLDs. It initiated a process in which people could come up with a proposed domain and make a bid for it – and received 1,930 applications. At an event in London, it indicated it could approve as many as a thousand by next year.

So, get ready. Maybe you’d like a nice little domain in the .baby range? Something perky in .sucks? For those who don’t understand that they already are, a .online domain?

Yes, it must be said that many of the proposed domains are utterly bizarre, while others would seem incredibly niche. I can see the attractions of the top 10 proposed new TLDs – the ones domain marketplace Sedo.combelieve will be most popular. These include .shop, .web, .site, .music, .hotel, .one, .blog, .eco, .sport, .love. (Though, .love? Hmm, maybe not.)

And I can see why the most popular TLD was .app, with 13 applications for it. Or why others, such as .inc and .LLC were on the most-applied-for top 10. But how about .lol? Or .foo? Or .boo? (Boo? Really? Why? Except to get Boo.boo, perhaps.) The .ketchup domain would seem to have narrow applications (unlike the sauce), as would .eurovision. And .earth might need interplanetary colonisation to reach its full potential.

Some think Icann’s main reason for throwing open the doors to TLD acquisition is financial. The organisation has already collected $352 million in application fees, even before it allocates any domains.

Whatever the reason, I just can’t see this all working in any way that benefits most of us. I can’t even remember whether a website is a .com or a .org half the time. As far as I am concerned, this massive TLD expansion is a move that throws out the TLD .baby with the .bathwater.