Being in unaccustomed impish mood this week, the grey cells having atrophied in front of the glowing screen, it's time to fall back on the old reliables, filling the remaining space with yet another disrespectful tilt at those windmills of charisma-challenged numeracy, what else but the accountancy profession.
A CPA accountant (Can't Produce Anything) spends a week at his new office, getting up to speed with the counterpart he is replacing. On the last day the departing accountant, a FCPA ( Finally Caught Pinching the Assets) tells him that, as a professional courtesy, he has left two envelopes in the desk drawer. The envelope marked number one should be opened if he encounters any sort of crisis. In the event of subsequent difficulties he should open envelope number two. Three months down the track the chairman is baying for blood. There has been an unacceptable overspend on paper clips - you know what it's like. Remembering the parting words of his predecessor he opens the first envelope. The message inside simply says: "Blame me". He does and wriggles off the hook. Three months later another crisis erupts. He opens the second envelope. The message says, "Write two envelopes." A familiar stratagem, generally filed under the heading of synergistic attitudinal readjustment.
