The challenges associated with being an ex-pat are very familiar for Drumcondra-born Sharon O’Flaherty Dehmel. Her experiences and observations from working in Italy and Portugal, as well as Ireland, have informed much of her work as a business coach where she has helped individuals and organisations navigate change and cultural differences over two decades.
She has also displayed a talent for reinvention. Leaving school at the height of the recession in Ireland in 1987, she started work in a secretarial role at an insurance company and studied at night to qualify as a chartered insurer, taking the journey “from the typing pool to company car” as she puts it.
When she met her German-husband Michael Dehmel, who works for an international non-governmental organisation, the couple moved to a base just south of Rome where they spent 18 years and raised their two daughters. O’Flaherty Dehmel had no Italian but threw herself into the experience and ended up setting up a language school there, as well as undertaking an MBA.
“It can be quite a challenge to establish yourself in a new country and it takes at least 18 months to settle in. I see a lot of people struggling with the culture shock and it’s very hard to tell people back home this is much harder than you thought it would be.
“Some people think you can just show up and the locals will welcome you with open arms. You learn quickly that you need to be more flexible and adaptable, which is fine if you are open to it but not everyone is.”
Through her MBA, she developed an interest in intercultural learning which led to certified training and a career as a coaching and trainer. Most of her work is online and many of the companies she works for are based in Ireland.
Her clients are typically technology companies on a fast growth curve and many of the people he trains are younger professionals who have strong technical skillsets but who want to develop broader leadership skills to help progress their management journeys.
“You might have someone who is an amazing software engineer but has never managed a team, a multicultural group or who has never had to manage conflict. I help people like this acquire the competencies to get to the next level.”
Teaching people the skills to provide constructive feedback for those reporting to them is a familiar task. She believes strongly in regular feedback rather than letting problems fester, noting that managers “put it off until it is too late and the employee isn’t performing, which isn’t entirely that employee’s fault then”.
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When her husband was reposted to Portugal, the couple moved in 2019 to a new base in the suburbs of the resort of Cascais, 20km from the capital, Lisbon.
“Cascais is a beautiful resort jam-packed with tourists in the summer. It’s only half an hour on the train to Lisbon. We live in the quieter suburbs which is far less expensive and get to really enjoy the resort in the autumn and winter when it is much quieter.”
Visitors often marvel at the low prices of eating out. You can get a coffee and a pastel de nata for as little as €1.80. However, with local wages low by western European standards, she says many of the problems currently being experienced in Ireland, such as access to affordable homes, are also being experienced in many of the more developed parts of Portugal.
Portugal’s Golden Visa scheme – which has recently been restricted – saw an influx of high-net-worth individuals in recent years which has pushed up property prices.
Serving staff at some resorts often have a round-trip commute to work of up to three hours a day because of the high price of accommodation, she says. Those who derive their income from abroad are in a very privileged position, she acknowledges.
Portugal has many positive features, however, apart from the obvious ones of great weather and fine food and wine, O’Flaherty Dehmel says. Like Ireland, it is small nation on the Atlantic edge of Europe with a rich history, and it punches above its weight. She notes its innovation in areas such as energy and IT, and says it is a far less bureaucratic country to work and live in than Italy was.
While her Portuguese is coming on, as she integrates in her neighbourhood wherever possible, well-meaning locals don’t always help novices attempting to improve their language skills in the country.
“In the bigger cities, everyone speaks English, and it can be hard to learn Portuguese because of this. The minute you start murdering their language, they stop you.”
