Certain words get up my nose. A current one is the much used “iteration”. For no particular reason I feel like spitting it out whenever it crosses my vision. It lacks grace or elegance, such as in glorious old-fashioned “grandiloquence”. Okay, it means highfalutin speech but what a gorgeous looking, sounding word!
Anyhow, it’s Christmas party season. Beware all who go there. It is not an obligation to make up for all Christmas parties past, and missed, since 2019. You probably can’t remember any of those anyway.
This year do not dare end up at the end of the night “grubbling” deep in your pockets for car keys. Avoid all “snollygosters”, especially if you have a few drinks. They are not to be trusted, ever.
And don’t complain about being in a “zwodder” state of mind the following morning. Try Andrews or Alka Seltzer for the “woofits” you’re suffering. It is the price you pay for being a lush, albeit temporarily. You might try “grufeling” under a blanket on the couch for a few hours. It may help until the worst has passed.
Forêt restaurant review: A masterclass in French classic cooking in Dublin 4
Charlene McKenna: ‘Within three weeks, I turned 40, had my first baby and lost my father’
Restaurateur Gráinne O’Keefe: I cut out sugar from my diet and here’s how it went
Ireland’s new dating scene: Finding love the old-fashioned way
This must not develop into “clinomania”. You cannot stay there for hours as, more than likely, another Christmas party awaits which you cannot miss for office politics reasons or, be honest, as you’ve never been known to miss a party. Any party! Claiming a “hum durgeon” won’t work. You? Sick? And a party going on. No one will believe it.
Indeed, these days, missing a party could see you ending up on the streets “quomodocunquizing”, trying to make a few bob in any way you can. Oh, the misery. So much worse than being in a “zwodder” state of mind. You won’t get away with any “fudgel” there either. No pretending to be up to your neck working remotely, while secretly “grufeling”.
But do not let the Christmas spirit tempt you to indulge even one “snecklifter”. Scrooges all year round, at every round. Let them pay for their own drink. And when it’s all over and the Christmas season has passed, be prepared for the usual post-holiday “ergophobia”. Almost every normal person experiences a fear of returning to work at times, particularly after a lengthy break.
It’s sad, all those lovely old English words abandoned to unemployment.
Words, from OId English “word”, for “speech, talk, utterance”.
