As someone with a tendency to lapse into the vernacular in moments of emphasis, it was a relief recently to discover there is licence for those, such as myself, who suffer from the disability.
In these august pages — as they are whatever the time of year — last month, emeritus professor of biochemistry at UCC William Reville was the unexpected source of this delight, for who would have thought there is such science? These many weeks later I continue to exhale in sheer relaxation.
First of all, there’s the democratic assurance. Swearers are far and away among the majority, albeit a less silent one. Studies in the US have shown that 72 per cent of men and 58 per cent of women there swear in public.
In such matters, we know empirically, Americans are merely trotting behind us Irish, not least when it comes to swearing in the privacy of our own homes. It is probable that we are world leaders in the latter stakes.
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It has also been found that most modern swear words fall into three categories: religion (eg damn, hell); sex (eg, f**k); bodily excretions (eg, sh*t).
The milder sh**e’ seems to cause less offence. No, I don’t know why either. Nor can I explain why damn is not awarded any asterisks whatsoever or hell; as in d**n, and h**l. Hardly fair, and suggests a certain downgrading.
You should also know that many swear words contain plosives; consonants that block the flow of air out of the mouth — p, t, k, b, d, g — and the effect of which can be, well, explosive!
Things you would never expect: swearing among friends enhances camaraderie and increases trust. Less surprising is that swearing gains attention and adds emphasis. And it has been scientifically proven that swearing enhances pain relief. Seriously.
Volunteers were studied after plunging their hands into freezing water. Swearing significantly raised their pain tolerance and lowered their perception of that pain, compared with using neutral words. Do not try this at home.
Swearing also improves muscular strength and stamina, compared with using neutral words. People gripping a hand vice were able to squeeze harder and longer if they encouraged themselves with swear words. Okay, you can try this one at home.
In other words, real men/women swear!
Swear, from Old English swerian, for “utterance of profane language”.
