IF THERE is a hoop which you want jumping through, there is no time like the present, confirmed the Leinster Leader, which had a shaggy dog story to tell.
Two vote hungry Fianna Fail canvassers in Newbridge, Co Kildare, were told they could have a man's vote if they could find his missing dog. Several hours later the "weary Soldiers of Destiny" struggled back with the careless canine in tow. Election fever does funny things to a body.
The Bray People highlighted another case of electionitis. Independent candidate Nicky Kelly took to the heavens last week in the hope of breathing fresh air into his campaign. You can't get much more high profile than a charity parachute jump from 10,000 ft. Proof, said Kelly, that he sticks his neck out for his constituents.
The paper also gave an example of the importance of choosing your words carefully in an election campaign. Apparently, outgoing Wicklow TD Mildred Fox has instructed her supporters not to refer to her portable office as a caravan. It is, said the paper, a "mobile advice centre". At least Fox (a sprightly 23) is afforded the opportunity of running for office. The Leinster Leader said Louise Donagher, the Green Party candidate for South Kildare, was "thrust out" of the election campaign for being too young. The 20 year old student at Maynooth College was told her nomination could not be accepted because on election day she would not have turned 21.
"If you can vote at 18 you should be able to run at 18. It seems so hard to believe for a Government that's so much against discrimination," she told the paper. Green Party activists are considering a High Court action challenging what they call "legislative discrimination".
Another youthful candidate, Maria Ni Dhomhnaill (24), from Carraroe, outlined to the Connacht Tribune the policies of the Natural Law Party which is fielding two candidates in Galway. The paper said the party's first priority was to reduce a phenomenon called "societal stress". To this end, they plan to introduce a centre for transcendental meditation and yogic flying as seen during the British election campaign. The Tribune said these activities had been scientifically proved to reduce not just crime but "all negative trends".
The Midland Tribune reported on potential Natural Law Party supporters who have been congregating in Cadamstown for the annual "rainbow gathering". People with names like Rekah, Joost and Jasmine have taken over fields in the area to celebrate the festivals of Bealtaine and Lughnasa. The Tribune said visitors were greeted by a sign saying "Here at your own risk. No Drugs, No Dogs, No Electrical Devices".
Voters disillusioned by mainstream politicians have other alternatives, said the Fin gal Independent. Dublin North's only single issue candidate Annie Ryan, is benefiting not only from those who back her campaign for St Ita's Psychiatric Hospital in Portrane but from those anxious to exercise a protest vote.
Her son has been a patient in St Ita's since the 1970s. She told the Independent that she was standing in protest at the "callous neglect" of the hospital and a bid to lobby for increased funding for it. This was her first electoral attempt, said the paper, but she had campaigned for St Ita's for more than 30 years.
Rather than protest voting, the Waterford News and Star said pilgrims in the county were planning to "pray for a good government". The power of prayer could have a crucial bearing on the result of the election in the key marginal four seat Waterford constituency, said the paper.
Speaking to the News and Star, the Bishop of Waterford and Lismore, Dr William Lee, said the annual pilgrimage to Lourdes would be leaving late to allow people to cast their votes. "Myself and all the pilgrims, including those who will be unable to vote, will pray for everybody in Waterford and please God we will get a good government," he told the paper.
Divine intervention may not be enough to help Bridin Twist, the Labour candidate who the Clare Champion said was in hot water over an allegation that she passed an official picket at Dunnes Stores in Ennis two years ago. "Bridin Labours Under Picket Claim", read the head line in the Champion. In a statement, a spokesman labelled the claims a smear campaign".
Ms Twist told the Champion she deeply resented the innuendo and invited "whoever is spreading these slurs to face me in a public debate on the issues".
Not many laughs so far in the lacklustre election campaign, so a page in the Kilkenny People devoted to the upcoming Cat Laughs Comedy Festival made a droll diversion. The paper said advance ticket sales were well ahead of last year and the city was "certain to enjoy a bumper Bank Holiday weekend."
But be warned, Richard Cook, the festival organiser, told the People: "These comedians live on their wits and any idiosyncrasies by the people in the city will be turned into a laugh by the comics."
The Limerick Leader, meanwhile, said veteran Des O'Malley had a few words of advice for his running partner, Eddie Creighton. "You will never make a TD unless you kiss babies," he said, an activity far less taxing than locating lost mutts.
