Imagine Marian Finucane telling listeners "You're all a shower of whingers!" and abruptly hanging up on callers whenever they get "boring". Imagine Gay Byrne welcoming into the studio a man with the unique talent of playing the piano with his penis. Imagine Gerry Ryan calling the President an adulterer, then pouring scorn on his RTE bosses when they complain about it. You reckon it's unimaginable? Well, in other parts of the English-speaking world the most popular radio personalities are doing just this sort of thing every day of the week. Why? It's simple. Programmers have discovered that this sort of radio attracts audiences. As one of them recently said: "We'll broadcast the sound of breaking wind in quadraphonic sound if we think that's what people want to hear."
Dirty jokes, mockery of sexual and ethnic minorities, rudeness to callers, nasty sound effects - it's all fair game. Still, most observers reckon it couldn't happen here. The requirements of fairness and balance imposed by law on RTE and independent broadcasters are strictly interpreted. (Similar requirements in the US disappeared a decade ago.) Moreover, this is a small country. Irish print journalists, even though they are not heavily regulated, are comparatively timid in the way they deal with public figures - partly because they may well see these people socially or need to maintain good professional relations with them. "Shock jocks", the theory goes, would be offending people they would then have to meet on the street or at the bar. The theory sounds good. It has even been put to the test lately. Eamon Dunphy, well known for his carefully crafted but often scathing attacks on public personalities in the Sunday Independent, started broadcasting on Radio Ireland last spring. Far from translating his literary aggression into radio form, he proved to be a dignified, even subdued host of The Last Word.
Journalist Vincent Browne has been in the news for what some listeners felt was a "radio assault" on Dana last week. However, while Browne is a tough interviewer, he is usually fair-minded, balanced and deadly serious in his intent.
The popular late-night phone-in shows on local radio, such as the Chris Barry Show on Dublin's FM104, often deal with sensitive, adult topics. They may not often do so with great sophistication, but rarely, either, do they descend to abuse and mockery. The stranger outposts of Irish radio are more likely to be occupied by a telephone psychic than a "shock jock".
However, breakfast-time programmes on the local Dublin stations and elsewhere have gone "tabloid", with lots of zany chat, comedy sketches, sound effects and extracts from the wackier stories in the newspapers and on the wire services. At the moment they are fairly harmless - but will one of them decide to stand out from the crowd by being a bit more "daring"? Already, sexual innuendo figures in their programming strategies.
The other question is about the intentions of Radio Ireland. The new commercial station has struggled to find a large-enough audience since its St Patrick's Day launch. For the last month or so, two consultants from Ginger Productions, the company that finances Chris Evans's programmes (see right), have been in Ireland to help the station develop its new schedule.
These consultants say they respect the particular culture of Irish radio, but their ideas about a "livelier" station have frightened and antagonised some staff members. Will Radio Ireland seek to develop an Irish Chris Evans? Jonathan Philbin Bowman, for example? The moment of truth is rapidly approaching. This week, Radio Ireland chiefs meet with the Independent Radio and Television Commission (IRTC) to reveal the changes they have in mind. How far will the IRTC let them move from their original, serious-sounding submission? What are the odds, now, on an Irish "shock jock"?
