The latest releases reviewed.

CHRISTINA MILIAN Say I feat Young Jeezy Def Jam **

She's young, beautiful, talented, a worthy successor to Beyoncé etc etc, but God, is this Milian-dollar babe boring or what? Not even Jeezy's thug motivation can get this tune to kick it. Say bye.

THE VINES Anysound Heavenly ***

Craig Nicholls has been diagnosed with Asperger's, which explains his volatile on-tour behaviour and his legendary McDonald's compulsion. Doesn't explain, though, why this song rocks your socks off in two minutes flat. Could be an underlying rock'n'roll condition.

THE DARKNESS Girlfriend Must Destroy **

Many rockers have donned the spandex tights, but few can pull 'em off like Justin Hawkins. Boom-boom! Now he's gone the whole 1980s hog, adding legwarmers and doing a Flashdance routine in a desperate attempt to flog this silly, key-tar-driven tune. Still, you have to admire his neck, if not those tight buns.

ORSON Bright Idea Mercury ****

Here's a band The Killers would love to kill. They're from Hollywood (an even shallower place than Vegas), they look sharper and their songs are pretty damn catchy. Singer Jason Pebworth's name isn't as florid as Brandon Flowers's, but never mind.

MORNING RUNNER The Great Escape Parlophone ***

Sprinting out of Reading, here's a band who sound a bit Starsailor-y at first, but turn out to be slightly faster and tougher than the rest of the fey, faint-hearted Brit bands. Let's hope these Runners don't turn into Athlete.

PET SHOP BOYS I'm with Stupid Parlophone ***

Trust the deadpan electropop duo to take a crappy T-shirt slogan from ancient history and turn it into a postmodernist slogan. Speaking of stupid, the Little Britain duo have donned the pointy hats to play Neil and Chris in the video.