AUTOCUTIE:A good-looking robot, perhaps? Or one of those models that are draped across car bonnets at motor shows?
Autocuties are good-looking, but you're more likely to find them draped across the desk on the nightly TV news, purring the latest headlines in a seductive voice while fluttering their come-to-bed eyes at the viewer. They are newsreaders who have been hired more for their telegenic appearance and less for their actual newsreading experience. Indeed, some are such novices at the game, they often have to read from an autocue, hence the term.
How will I spot these cuckoos in the news media nest?
They are distinguished by their shiny lip gloss, expensive hairdos and plunging necklines. They are generally female, although a new generation of male autocuties is rising up - look out for Jude Law lookalikes wearing Armani suits and cheeky smiles.
But we've had glamorous newsreaders for years, haven't we? I used to hang on Anna Ford's every pout. And I've still got the video of Angela Rippon showing her legs on Morecambe and Wise. It's hardly news, is it?
The term has been around for a few years - it's even made it into the Collins English Dictionary - but it has been back in the spotlight since ITV news anchor Mark Austin launched a sideswipe against the TV networks' penchant for putting eye candy in front of the camera. He complained about the number of "pretty young women and handsome young men" who are reading the news, saying that some of them lacked a "solid journalistic background". His measure of a good anchorperson is that they should have at some stage in their career reported from a war zone.
At least our TV stations wouldn't carry on like that, would they?
Okay, it seems that every newsreader on TG4 is a total babe, but at least they can speak Irish. And the National Ploughing Championships are a complete war zone.
Over the water, though, female newsreaders who happen to have been blessed with good looks often have to defend themselves against accusations of autocuteness. It's not surprising: earlier this year, Natasha Kaplinsky, star of Strictly Come Dancing, was nabbed as a newsreader by Channel Five at a salary of about a million quid a year. Whether her contract will include doing the odd tango on the newsdesk is not clear, but she could certainly give Angela Rippon's pins a run for their money. The fee will make Kaplinsky the highest-paid newsreader in UK TV history.
Because she's worth it?
Kaplinsky started off as a BBC newsreader, but was then roped into doing Strictly Come Dancing. The show catapulted her to fame when viewers were wowed not just by her looks and her dancing, but by the sexual chemistry between her and dancing partner Brendan Cole. But she insists that, despite her obvious appeal, she is no autocutie.
"I would challenge anyone who uses that expression to do a live broadcast, with breaking news and 16 people speaking in your ear," she said in an interview. "The pressure of looking composed and serene amid absolute chaos - come and call me an autocutie then. You know? Come and try it."
Try at home:"It's great - ever since 'Late News with Girls Aloud' came on air, young Fergus has really taken an interest in current affairs.
Try at work:"It's nothing to do with your age, Frank, it's just that the viewers expect our newsreaders to be able to do the cha-cha-cha."
