REVIEWED - THE ADVENTURES OF SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL IN 3-D: While Robert Rodriguez, the do-it-yourself auteur from Austin, Texas, was putting together his best film, Sin City, he was, it now transpires, simultaneously creating his very worst. The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D was partly written by Rodriguez's infant son, and by golly it shows, writes Donald Clarke

The picture is firmly in the "and then" school of storytelling. And then this little boy meets Lavagirl and her friend Sharkboy. And then they head off to a land of dreams. And then the teacher turns into a monster. And then a big tornado comes. And then . . . The effect is rather like attending a dinner party with an indulgent parent who insists on allowing his precocious children to tell us what they did during their holidays.

Even the oddest host would, however, think twice before forcing you to wear uncomfortable 3-D glasses while he throws colourful fluids in your face. The last part of Rodriguez's fine Spy Kids trilogy wore out the novelty value of this annoying Cold War-era gimmick in its first half hour. Anybody who has seen that film will, therefore, be sick to death of hurtling objects even before Sharkboy begins (many others will just be plain sick).

In Rodriguez's defence, he has been impressive in his determination to remain independent of the studio bigwigs. Sharkboy was written, edited, scored, shot and directed by the Texan's family. Having worked so hard to maintain his autonomy, he is perhaps allowed the odd such indulgence. Best not make a habit of it, though.