Reviewed - Aquamarine: So there's, like, these two teens in Florida, right? And one's played by Julia Roberts's niece, which is, you know, way cool. Her folks died in this boat accident and she's really sad and won't go in the water and, like, this means she'll never get to meet this lifeguard, who's totally hot.

And the other one has to move to, like, Austria or Australia or whatever, because her Mom is, like, this fish scientist. So they're both really sad. But then there's this big storm and this other girl gets thrown into the swimming pool and she has, like, this tail and she's got blue hair and the two teens are all, like, "What's up?" and I'm, like, "Duh!" She's a mermaid, like in that film starring Tom Hanks and that old lady out of Kill Bill.

So, then there's, like, this totally creepy scene where the mermaid's lying there and she says to one of the girls, "Do you want to touch it?" - meaning her tail - and the kid does and says, "Yuck. It's slimy." I'm, like, "Eugh!" I don't know why, but there's something gross about that, right?

Anyway, the mermaid says she'll grant the girls a wish if they can get the hot lifeguard to say he loves her. So, they're like totally into that. And they really annoy this nasty bigger girl and everyone falls in the water and whatever. Yeah, it sounds way cool, but actually it totally sucked and made me want to barf.