After a fortnight of conflicting signals from the Government, Ireland's Kosovan refugees literally don't know whether they're coming or going.

An apology circulated to refugees this week by Liz O'Donnell over the way their planned repatriation was announced has reassured some Kosovars that they may have a future in Ireland after all.

As yet, though, the official position remains that refugees who wish to stay beyond next month will have to apply for extended visas, and only exceptional cases will be considered. For the 29 Kosovan families living at a reception centre in Waterford - 26 of whom wish to stay for at least another year - it is one more trauma they must deal with.

Safet Xhokli, a young married man with children aged four and two, said he was "very shocked and very terrified" when he was given a Department of Foreign Affairs memo which broke the unexpected news.

The memo, circulated to refugees following a meeting between Ms O'Donnell and representatives of the Kosovar community on May 9th, was written in stark and unsympathetic terms.

In summary, it said it was now safe for refugees to return to Kosovo; financial hardship would not be grounds for an application to stay; those who did stay would be responsible for their own rent and other costs; families who went home last autumn but now wished to return could not do so; and the family reunification programme ended in March and no further applications would be considered.

Embarrassed by the tone of the document, Ms O'Donnell described the language used as "crude" and promised a "more sympathetic" letter in its place.

In this letter, received by the refugees on Wednesday, she said she was "very sorry" that the previous note had raised fears and concerns among Kosovars about their future in Ireland.

She pointed out that the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees had indicated that it was safe for most Kosovars to go home.

"This is the general situation. However, [the] UNHCR and Ireland fully accept that there may well be individuals with protection needs, and other vulnerable groups who would be an exception to the general rule. We realise also that returns cannot be immediate.

"We favour a phased and co-ordinated approach to repatriation. I will also be dealing directly with the UNHCR to assess the reality of the situation on the ground in Kosovo. I wish to satisfy myself of the safety of our refugees who may return home."

Those who wished to stay could apply to do so. "Please rest assured that people who are clearly vulnerable and have continuing protection needs will not be expected to return at this time." She also promised Government support for a "gradual integration" into the wider community of those who remained.

Mr Xhokli hopes to be among them. He is attending a VEC-run English-language and computer course and has taken part-time jobs in McDonald's, and was told on Thursday that his application to study business and marketing at Waterford Institute of Technology from October had been accepted.

Going home, he said, was not an option, as every Albanian's house in his home town of Kacanic had been burnt out. His brother had gone home from a refugee camp in Macedonia with the intention of rebuilding his life in Kosovo. "He left when he saw that everything was burnt and now he is in Florida.

"If I went back I would have to start from zero. . . We're told we cannot stay for economic reasons, but losing your house is not just an economic problem."

Mr Xhokli, whose 66-year-old mother also lives at the centre, accepts that the refugees cannot live in such sheltered accommodation forever. His family would be prepared to seek accommodation independently if necessary.

Others see no future outside the reception centre, the former Ursuline convent which has been their home since June last year. "Living in Ireland is expensive," said Faik Osmani, from Gjilan, near Pristina, who is in Waterford with an extended family including his parents and a brother.

Mr Osmani, who is employed at the Tech Industries Ireland plant at the local IDA industrial estate, said: "If the Government allows the family to stay at the centre then I think we will stay, but if not we will probably go home. When we have more information we'll decide".

Fatmir Sherifi, who is also married with children aged five and one (his younger son, Geldon, was three months old when the family arrived last summer), cannot go back as his home town, Preshev, is inside Serbia and outside Kfor-controlled territory. The town has a large Albanian majority.

"My parents still live there. I spoke to them last night, and the situation is very tense. There's no security there at all. I have made new friends here and know a lot of Irish people and would like to stay."

Bali Dervishi, an economist from Vushtrri, near Mitrovica, who is in Ireland with his wife, three grown-up children and several grandchildren, said he agreed with the UNHCR that cities and main roads were safe, but this did not apply to villages, by-roads or fields which had yet to be checked for mines.

"I love my country and if it was safe I would go back immediately, but it is not safe." In addition, Mr Dervishi is receiving hospital treatment here for injuries sustained during 13 years in prison for participating in political protests, and believes the treatment available in Kosovo would not match what he gets in Ireland.

"I think it is the same for the majority of old people, who have problems with illness, and would find it very hard to go back at this moment." Like others who spoke to The Irish Times, he said the most recent letter from Ms O'Donnell had made him "very, very happy". And when he got the first memo? "I couldn't sleep."

Now, with trust in the Minister restored, he is optimistic again: "We will never forget the hospitality of the Irish people and this is something I will tell everyone about when I go back. Now if the Irish Government is ready to help us in this situation, we will be very grateful."

cdooley@irish-times.ie