Gemma Tiptongives the male of the species some advice on choosing the perfect straight date movie

'DO YOU want to come and see Rocky Balboa?" he asked. I thought about it and decided against it. When I eventually get around to writing How to Appear Sensitive and Interesting, my handbook for men, there will be a chapter on film. What movies should you take a first date to? And what should you go and see when you have nothing left to talk to each other about?

Going to see a movie makes a good first date because (a) you get to sit together in the dark; (b) it takes the pressure off having to make conversation; (c) it gives you something to talk about afterwards over coffee or a drink; (d) you feel closer when you're having the drink because you've already spent time together; and (e) you can display your sensitive and interesting side through your movie choice. So here are my rules for choosing the perfect date movie.

Rom-coms are a cop-out

Tearjerker or not, the unbelievably awful Ghost seems to top many polls of best-movies-to-take-a-date-to. Quitehonestly, I'd find it a bit creeped if a date whipped out a DVD of Ghost or Sleepless in Seattle. Both films figure on www.askmen.com's list of top 10 date movies. (If askmen.com is any guide to what guys are thinking and feeling, I might give that half of the species up altogether.)

The thinking seems to be that the the safest date movie is romantic comedy because it gets her "in the mood". In my view, though, rom-coms are generally undemanding and as predictable as vanilla ice cream or a plate of chips.

Romantic comedies are a cop-out, and when I see men queuing for them with their girlfriends (or potential girlfriends, or soon-to-be-ex-girlfriends) I always think: you're either desperate or desperately sorry about something. They're trying too hard without thinking enough.

Avoid unfavourable comparisons

There's also a theory that says you shouldn't choose a movie that shows a woman in a bad light - ie, redheaded females shouldn't go on dates to Julia Roberts movies, because their companion will - subconsciously or otherwise - compare them unfavourably with the star.

Steer clear of tearjerkers

There was that dinner after The Last of the Mohicans, where I cried so much that the man I was with was roundly abused by the waiter for having reduced me to this state.

Something similar happened after The English Patient, though that time the only casualties were my mascara and my dignity. So perhaps another rule of choosing a date movie should be "avoid tearjerkers".

Horrors are horrific

They used to say that horror movies were a good date choice: your date would be so afraid that she would cuddle into you. But as we've grown less squeamish, horror movies have got a lot nastier, so I would hesitate to recommend them.

Get personal

A good date film doesn't have to be your favourite. I still adore the man with whom I went to see the Louis Kahn documentary My Architect, and even when he annoys me I still harbour warm feelings towards him, going (in part) back to his particular choice of that film. It wasn't that I particularly loved the movie; what I loved was that he'd thought about it.

Major in classics

I wish Irish cinemas showed more classics. As far as I'm concerned, you can"t go wrong with a good western, a Hitchcock, or a black and white such as Gaslight, Casablanca or The Wicked Lady. There are also more recent "classics" that will always make great date movies in that they have something for both sexes. Think of The Princess Bride, Buena Vista Social Club, There's Something About Mary (after all, you want to know if they have a sense of humour) and Grosse Pointe Blank.

Personally, I'd be tempted to add Fight Club to the list of good picks because I'd want to know if we were at all compatible. Still, perhaps it's best to give your date a chance to discover how lovely you are before sharing the full force of your personality with them.

Don't put a foot wrong

One of the problems for the romantically inclined is that so much of what is on at the cinema at the moment seems just slightly wrong. There have been some extremely good films out there, but none that is really date material. We've had The Queen (too regal), Pan's Labyrinth (too disturbing) and Notes on a Scandal (not so conducive to happy romance). Of recent releases, perhaps Little Miss Sunshine scores the best for scoring.

Avoid the bad and the ugly

Then there are those jangly, feel-bad films you should avoid at all costs on first dates. Classics here include Fatal Attraction, The Silence of the Lambs, The Hitcher, American Psycho, The Piano Teacher and United 93.

We both learned something new about each other when I turned down the invitation to see Rocky Balboa. But I'm not entirely sure we can blame Sylvester Stallone on the fact that things didn't work out.

OUTLAW

Avoid anything with more than a pint of blood in it.

300

Definitely avoid anything with more than a swimming pool of blood in it.

BECOMING JANE

If you want to be friends, fine. If you want more, go for something a little more interesting.

FACTORY GIRL

Modern history? Check. Celeb actor? Anseo. Plot, dialogue, pacing. Absent.

SLEEPING DOGS

If your date has given clear signals that she likes nothing more than sitting down to watch a bit of bestiality, fine. Otherwise, give it a miss.

Date thrillers

ONCE

Sweet but not saccharine. And they don't even sleep together, so no uncomfortable moments.

THE ILLUSIONIST

Starring thinking thespian Edward Norton, it has historical appeal and pub conversational potential.

THE NAMESAKE

Choosing this ethnic epic would make Idi Amin look sensitive. And it's pretty damn good too.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS (IFI, April 21)

David Lean and Alec Guinness deliver two hours of monochrome bliss in this classic story of troubled lovers.