`It was Christmas holiday time. Our grown-up children were home. Our oldest son, Tony, came into the kitchen one afternoon as we washed up after lunch. He said `Mum, Dad, I need to talk to you'. As we sat down, we knew he had something serious to say to us: and somehow, though it had never crossed our minds before, we knew what he had to tell us: he was gay. Tears rolled down our faces. He looked so sad and lonely and frail. What had we done? It must be our fault. Why did I listen to the doctor, who said he should be circumcised when he was a baby? Why did I allow him to take a girl's part in the school play? Why didn't I insist on boys' games instead of dancing? All of these guilty feelings tortured me.

We put our arms around him, hugged him and told him we loved him and would always love him. We asked a few questions, but didn't really take in the answers. He gave us a Parents' Support number and a book, A Stranger in the Family, which brought on another flood of tears - our son a stranger. For the rest of the holidays, we tried to act as though nothing had happened, but at night when I closed the bedroom door, I sobbed myself to a fretful sleep. I could see our Tony becoming a lonely, eccentric old man, or his face a drawn gaunt skeleton, dying of AIDS. Gradually, the tears dried up and we began to see things in a new light. In the time since Tony broke the news to us, we have grown closer to each other. He is more open and talkative with us. We were very happy recently to be introduced to his special friend - a lovely boy we hope will be part of our family."

Adapted from personal stories of parents from the booklet, If Your Child is Gay or Lesbian, produced by Parents' Support.