REEL NEWS:A RECENT report from the University of California has shown . . . oh, come back. This is not the Daily Mailand we're not about to tell you that white wine gives you leprosy.

The issue is much more important. The document claims that prior information about the plot – please don’t make us say “spoilers” – actually adds, rather than detracts, from the punter’s enjoyment of a story.

The researchers (none of whom had better things to do, apparently) handed their test subjects a series of stories, some of which contained sneaky paragraphs revealing a significant plot twist. It seems that the readers who knew the reversal enjoyed the stories more than those who didn’t. So there.

In other, even more important bad science news, a study by California State University (honestly professor dudes, do you have nothing else to do in that state?) has determined that watching movies in 3D rather than 2D offers no measurable increase in enjoyment for the vast majority of viewers. Awake to the bleeding obvious, the report did suggest that watching 3D movies increases the risk of headaches and eyestrain.

L Mark Carrier, the study’s author, commentated: “There aren’t going to be any benefits in terms of understanding the movie better or making the movie more meaningful, as far as we can tell.” Yeah, and it also costs more.