SOMETIMES it's hard to know just how far you can take the child abuse issue. The definition of the term becomes wider all the time. The Sligo Champion said an irate mother who brought her three year old daughter to a peaceful protest outside a meeting of Sligo County Council had demanded an apology from a councillor who said bringing children on picket protests was "a form of child abuse".

Cllr Leo Conlon referred to no one in particular in his remarks, although Ms Mary Kilgallon is convinced that he meant her, since her daughter, Emma, was the only child present. "I don't believe the council has any right to tell parents where they can bring their children," she said.

Glen roe and Fair City are far too tame, if the court reports are anything to go by. In real life, people are inspiring headlines like "Man Jailed for Assaulting Wife's Alleged Lover" (Meath Chronicle),

"Toyboy at centre of problem in marriage, father tells local DJ" (Connacht Tribune), "Carnal Knowledge" (Kerry's Eye) and "Vice Principal accused of sex assault on six boys" (Kildare Nationalist). And that's a pretty average week's reading entertainment.

The Clare Champion's headline "Angry Gunmen Target Minister", made you wonder if perhaps the national media had missed something. Was there a body somewhere we should know about? In fact, the headline concerned Clare hunters who were "up in arms" over a proposed shooting ban for the new Burren National Park and had consequently "set their sights on" the Minister responsible, Mr Michael D Higgins.

"Crazy" was how the Sligo Champion described the rural policing scheme, which is to be extended to a further 85 Garda stations countrywide, while the Leitrim Observer found that the downgrading of three Garda stations in the county was sending out the message that the elderly were "easy targets".

The hospital overcrowding crisis was purely a Dublin phenomenon, if the national media were to be believed. But the local newspapers had trolleys of their own to count with - for example, 26 in casualty at University College Hospital in Galway, according to the Connacht Tribune.

The Roscommon Herald introduced a new phrase for keeping trolleys in accident and emergency rather than on wards: "spread the pain". That was the term used by a health board official, explaining that they used to crowd up to 50 patients into one particular ward until the health and safety officer ruled that 37 was enough.

MANY editorials were written in support of those people who have to shuffle those trolleys around as compassionately as possible, the nurses. The Western People thought it was "past time nurses set a precedent: they are a special and long neglected case. Everyone should recognise that, especially those who will be lining up to jump on the pay increase bangwagon (sic)." Let's hope they meant "bandwagon".

The Impartial Reporter and Fermanagh Herald focused on the massive IRA mortar bomb attack on Tempo RUC station, and especially on the trauma experienced by a class of Irish dancing pupils, some aged as young as five, who were trapped in a nearby school hall during the attack.

The paper's editorial looked at another issue, the unveiling of a memorial at Brookeborough to two IRA men killed in the 1950s. "What unionists feel most angry about is that this is clearly a provocative act." And as if that was not enough, "Sinn Fein councillor Gerry McHugh has clearly added insult to injury by comparing this memorial to the upgrading of the Enniskillen war memorial. Is this really how little the councillor thinks of the 11 innocent people blown up in 1987?"

A more hopeful tone was taken by the Ballymena Guardian, reporting on the "historic stand" taken by the Grand Master of the Orange Order in Harryville. "Bro Bob Saulters was accompanied by senior chaplains and other officials of the order as they displayed a banner declaring Orangemen support Civil and Religious Liberty for ALL as the surprised congregation of the Church of Our Lady arrived.

The beleaguered priest whose church has been picketed by protesters for the past 17 weeks, Fr Frank Mullen, described Mr Saulter's action as "a light in the time of darkness".

Leading a horse to water is one thing, but bringing it into a bar for a drink is quite another. A man who tried to bring his horse into the Old Mill Hotel in Julianstown for a drink got the animal inside the front door despite protests from staff before being arrested by gardai, said the Meath Chronicle.