The latest relationships book to grip the US advocates using the rules of the marketplace to bag a husband. But who wants to be treated like a commodity, asks Nadine O'Regan

You would think things would have changed by now. You would think the word "spinster" would have lost its negative connotations and that society would allow single women to feel empowered rather than impoverished by their status. Hell, you would think Bridget Jones would have the confidence to realise that any guy who wears a reindeer jumper isn't worth her time, even if he is Colin Firth. Unfortunately, however, while women may be breaking through the glass ceiling in their working lives, when it comes to romance it seems we are moving backwards.

Don't believe me? Then read the latest relationships book to grip the US, a snazzy little confidence-buster by Rachel Greenwald entitled Find A Husband After 35 Using What I Learned At Harvard Business School. According to Greenwald, the reason unhappily single women have not found Mr Right has nothing to do with bad luck. Instead, the problem stems from their presenting themselves as insufficiently appealing packages.

"Finding a husband effectively is about applying business principles to the dating process and marketing yourself," Greenwald informs us. "It's about using classic marketing tactics such as packaging, branding, advertising and niche marketing. You, the reader, are the 'product'. And The Program" - Greenwald's 15-step course to achieving wedded bliss - "is a 'strategic plan' to help you 'market' yourself to find your future husband."

As a singleton adhering to the Greenwald approach, establishing a brand should be your first priority. You must select three words that define you attractively, then use them to describe yourself in personal advertisements and when talking to friends. You should always bring along items that remind people of your personal brand. "If your brand includes 'World Traveller'," Greenwald says, "it would be consistent to carry the latest issue of Travel magazine."

You must also improve your appearance. But going to the hairdresser isn't good enough. Instead, you must ask each of your friends seriously what you could do to make yourself look better. "A fix could involve extensive exercise, cosmetic dentistry, or, in extreme cases, plastic or reconstructive surgery," chirrups Greenwald. "Create your best look."

With that ever-so-handy Botox injected, you may now proceed to the Exit Interviews. This is when your friend contacts all your ex-boyfriends to find out what they most disliked about you. In this way, says Greenwald, you can remedy your past behaviour and improve your husband-baiting potential.

You must also frequent establishments where single fathers spend time and enrol in male-orientated adult education classes (regardless of whether you have an interest in the course). At the theatre, always go to the toilet during the performance, so you can spend the interval scanning the room for available men.

Advertising your single status is crucial. If you are a bridesmaid, you should make a speech about the happy couple and announce: "I hope one day I'll meet someone as wonderful as Mike." A great opportunity to prompt the matchmakers in the room, gushes Greenwald. Afterwards, if the bride hasn't strangled you, you should create cards showing you playing golf, she suggests, or looking witty, then send them to everyone you know, including near-strangers such as the florist or your dentist's receptionist. The message on your card should read: "This year, I would like to find someone wonderful to spend my life with. Do you know any single men you could introduce me to?"

Sound debasing? Embarrassing? Could this book just be a cynical attempt to extract cash from singletons' pockets using what its author learned at Harvard Business School? Perhaps, but women are taking the bait nonetheless. Greenwald's book has been published in more than 15 countries and will soon appear in Ireland under a new title, The Program: How To Find A Husband After Thirty. (Nothing like rounding down those digits to increase your target audience, eh?) The film rights have been snapped up by Paramount.

In a sense, Greenwald's achievement is hardly surprising. As the success of books such as The Rules and Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus has shown, we have an enormous appetite for relationship advice. But is Greenwald's work an adequate response to the difficulties people have in locating the One? She insists her method empowers women, but the only people her book appears to empower are men. By exhorting women to consider themselves as products that must be sold to men, Greenwald puts women at the same level as chocolate or cigarettes. They do not choose, they are simply chosen.

The central tenets of her approach only reinforce this perception. Greenwald instructs singletons to cast their nets wide. "Your future husband may be divorced, he may have kids, he may be shorter than you," she says. "A key marketing goal is to sell your product to as many customer segments as possible." Should any "product" dare not to like her customer, the author has a quick retort: "Don't be so picky."

Truth be told, by the time you've completed Greenwald's tasks you probably won't be. After all, when your "friends" have told you what parts of you need cosmetic surgery, your ex-boyfriends have told you everything they hate about you and you've spent aeons smiling at strangers in the desperate hope they'll propose, who wouldn't beg the nearest toad to marry her? (After which point Greenwald kindly invites you to email her with news of your nuptials.)

The book's most terrifying story is told in tones of ringing endorsement. One of Greenwald's fans, a 40-year-old woman called Kate, has quit her prestigious job in Manhattan and left behind her friends and family to move to Minneapolis, where she knows exactly two people. Why? Because Kate believes her "brand" will be more unusual in Minneapolis and so bring more opportunities to attract a husband.

"As this book goes to press," Greenwald says, excitedly, "Kate has been in her new city for one month. She says her net is cast so wide that her only requirement is 'a man who knows how to use cutlery'." Welcome to the brave new world of dating, where the customer is always Mr Right.

The Program: How To Find A Husband After Thirty by Rachel Greenwald is published by Time Warner, £6.99 in UK