MIDDAY in Cahir and no place to park? Pretend you're a local.
What you do is pull in, pull the handbrake and abandon it. The nice new car park down by the castle is grand in its own way but who wants to pay 50p to the county council if your only want to slip into the bank for a minute?
For sheer traffic anarchy, Cahir takes some beating - and this is after the by pass. The problem is that Cahir has only half a by pass. The Dublin Cork traffic has been banished from the town to be sure, but the Limerick Waterford transients still hurtle through, triggering panic attacks in visitors not acquainted with the whereabouts of the pedestrian crossings. If anything, say locals, the through flow is heavier than before the by pass.
Nonetheless, the air throbs with the sound of industry as shopfronts are refurbished, new paving laid, new lights erected and wiring moved underground. The newly laid plaza at the tourist office provided the reviewing area for the President, Mrs Robinson, when she visited the town recently.
The Cahir Development group is squaring up to the challenge of a heart sinking 27 per cent unemployment rate, and has pulled nine different local bodies under its umbrella to co ordinate the drive towards exploiting the myriad assets of the town and lifting the local economy.
WHERE TO GO FOR INFORMATION:
The purpose built tourist officers in the new plaza, close to the castle. Look for Cahir Tourism's brand new leaflet on the town.
WORTH VISITING:
Cahir Castle, built as the stronghold of the powerful Butler family - who owned it till 1961 - on a rocky island on the river Suir. One of the largest castles in Ireland and the only one with a working portcullis, elements dating from each period of its long history remain, from the 13th century keep and the 16th century windows to the glorious Victorian restoration of the Great Hall.
Children love its nooks and crannies, sinister shadowy recesses and spiralling, steep, stone staircases. Spare energy can be used up climbing the steps to the top of the high walls for views of the town and river. Summer opening hours are from 9 a.m. to 7.30 p.m. every day. There is an admission charge (adults £2, family ticket £5), which includes an excellent audio visual show in several languages and guided tour if required.
The Swiss Cottage, an extraordinarily picturesque "cottage orne" - believed to be the finest in the world - built by the Butlers in the grounds of their castle, following a fashion begun by Marie Antoinette for playing at being peasants (don't try this at home unless - like Marie Antoinette - you can arrange to have your cows washed and scented first).
A Quaker meeting house was demolished to make way for the Butlers' version around 1810 and the finished product - designed reputedly by John Nash - not only resembles a Hansel & Gretel fairytale come to life but also confirms that there is nothing new under the sun in interior decor. All praise to the Office of Public Works and Sybil Connolly for an exquisite restoration job, both inside and out, beginning with the five acres of reed needed for the thatched roof. There is a charge for admission (£2 for adults, family ticket £5) which is by guided tour only. Open every day May to September from 10 a.m. to 6 pm.
WHAT TO BUY:
Given its size - reputedly the largest in Europe - and the breadth, beauty and quality of the stock, Fleury Antiques in The Square is probably as much an attraction as the castle. A favoured haunt of EU delegations and diplomats. Prices range from £5 for sweet little sandwich trays to several hundred thousand for anything from chandeliers to paintings, sculptures to rare furniture.
The owners know their stuff but carry their knowledge lightly and call a cupboard a cupboard. And they're open to a haggle. For more traditional tourist buys, such as Irish tweed and tapes, there's the Crock of Gold near the castle.
WHERE TO STAY:
Cahir has all sorts of accommodation for every pocket - hotels, town houses, country houses, farmhouses, caravan and camping parks and even a hostel. Cahir House has had a lot of money spent on it in recent times and now boasts 14 bedrooms, all en suite at £60 for a double - the same as a local favourite down the street, the Castle Court.
Or if you want to get on your marks for an early start the next morning, Kilcoran Lodge will do nicely out on the main Dublin Cork at £67 for a double room (with the added inducement of a leisure centre with pool, sauna, solarium etc).
After the hotels, there is a choice of 30 B&Bs charging on average around £30-34 - for a double room. For a link with the past, there's the 17th century Ballydrehid House run by the Coads a couple of miles out, where you can relax and fish and even dine (at £13 a head) if you order ahead. For farmhouse accommodation with a horseriding bias, both the Cahir Equestrian Centre and Lissava House and Riding Stables fit the bill.
For campers and caravanners, there are several choices in the area around Cahir. The Condons at Lisakyle also offer hostel accommodation and there are self catering facilities at Parson's Green caravan and camping park at Clogheen - which, by the way, is also a haven for children (see Other Attractions). And for anyone about to start the Great Novel, say, or just yearning to hear the birds sing in an idyllic setting, the place to start might be Evergreen Cottage, run on a self catering basis by Bridget Burke (052-41793).
WHERE TO EAT:
Again there is no shortage of informal places to eat around the town, ranging from pub grub to multi course dinners. The brightly painted Galtee Inn on the Square is a favourite for lunch, as well as the Castle Arms and the Castle Court Hotel. Evening meals are also served at the Gall cc Inn, with Cahir House a slightly pricier alternative. The Italian Connection on Castle Street also opens for evening meals at around £15 for a three course dinner.
NIGHT MOVES:
If you like music with your pint, there is something nearly every night of the week in Cahir. Try the Abbey Tavern or Cahir House on Wednesdays for traditional music. Cahir House also runs a folk night on Tuesdays while nightclubbers head for the same hotel on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. For a blessedly quiet pint without distraction, try The Bell, Pat Peters or O'Looneys.
DAY-TIME EXERTION:
Golfers can tee off at Cahir Park Golf Club, a lovely course set in prime parkland along the Suir. Cahir has two horse riding centres - the Cahir Equestrian Centre on the Ardfinnan Road and Lissava House on the Cork Road, which can send you and your child hacking for £8 and £6 respectively. Fishing tackle and permits are available in the town for fisherfolk who want to chase trout and salmon in the local rivers.
If all you crave is a lovely walk with a purpose, try the river walk from the castle to the Swiss Cottage (about half an hour each way along a rural path). Or take the guided walk along the well mapped tourist trail around the town, beginning at the castle and taking in Cahir Abbey, the Georgian Mall, the Nash designed St Paul's Church, and the fascinating old parish graveyard last used in the 1820s.
Hill walking is also a popular pursuit, with the Galtees close at hand. And if you fancy a swim and a sauna after all that, Kilcoran Lodge out on the main road will facilitate non residents at a charge of £5 for adults and £3 for children.
OTHER ATTRACTIONS:
The massive caverns, stalactites and stalagmites and huge calcite columns of the Mitchelstown Cave are guaranteed to chill childish spines in a pleasantly X File sort of way. Adults too will be fascinated by the 30 foot Tower of Babel. The six mile drive from Cahir is well worth it.
Car hill of crazed children and adults? There's something for everyone at Parsons Green Park and Pet Farm at Clogheen - a pet field farm museum, Viking sweat house, pony and trap rides, boat rides, crazy golf, tennis courts, picnic area, garden and river walks. Family tickets are £5.
DID YOU KNOW?
Cahir Castle has featured extensively in several movies, notably Barry Lyndon, Tristan and Isolde and Excalibur.
WHERE'S THE LOO?
Conspicuously public toilets are located beside the Tourist Office near the castle.
