Were you paying attention in 2004? Here's a chance to find out just how much you remember about the past 12 months in pop. It's the no-holds-barred, tongue- in-cheek, tinsel-bedecked Discotheque seasonal quiz!
Is that a cheer we hear? If you've been reading The Ticket on any sort of regular basis, much of the following will be a cinch. If you haven't been reading The Ticket, what the hell were you doing, pal? Kick out the cat/the dog/the kids, lock the door, pour yourself a stiff drink, put on a funny paper hat, take off your shoes and settle down.
Please note there are no prizes on offer, except the satisfaction that comes from knowing that you, too, are a smart alec. But, lets face it, the Discotheque quiz is probably a lot better than whatever is on TV right now.
More fun! Bigger laughs! Better celebrities! Pens at the ready:
The Thrills released a new album in 2004. Was it? (a) Average (b) Below average (c) The same as the first one but with a different cover (d) I am a member of The Thrills and I am not amused.
The Red Hot Chili Peppers played the Phoenix Park in June. How much did they got paid for their risible sock-rock? (a) €1 million (b) €1.25 million (c) €1.5 million (d) More than they should have.
Who won the battle of the reunions? (a) Pixies (b) Wet Wet Wet (c) Lloyd Cole & The Commotions (d) Planxty.
Who did Discotheque describe as "the Elton John of indie"? (a) Mundy (b) Morrissey (c) Elton John (d) Ronan Keating.
Who or what is a Pete Doherty? (a) A leading rally-car driver (b) A Welsh train driver (c) A character in Eastenders (d) A singer and songwriter whose wretched drug addiction has been cynically used and manipulated by parasites and hangers-on.
Who or what was a Royston Brady? (a) A member of Westlife (b) A member of Metallica (c) A good name for a kitten (d) Ah, Jaysus, will you leave the poor man alone?
And who or what is a Paddy Casey? (a) Would-be candidate in the 2004 European elections (b) The Irish Hairdresser of the Year (c) One of the barmen in Whelan's (d) One of those fecking singer-songwriters.
Which of the following best describes the music industry's approach to downloading in 2004? (a) Hopeless (b) Clueless (c) Laughable (d) All of the above.
How many tracks did you download in 2004? Be truthful (a) Downloading is killing music. Yes, I work for a major record company (b) Less than 10 (c) Between 10 and 100 (d) Over 100.
Which of the following pop radio stations also has a public service broadcasting remit which it seems quite happy to do nothing about? (a) Spin 103.8 (b) FM104 (c) 2FM (d) Beat-FM.
Which of the following 2FM DJs is a huge Frank Zappa fan? This is not a trick question. (a) Gareth O'Callaghan (b) Gerry Ryan (c) Wes D'Arcy (d) Jenny Houston.
How many members of Dublin band The Jimmy Cake does it take to change a lightbulb? (a) Two (b) Five (c) All of them (d) Were you really that stuck for a question?
If you are applying for a radio licence in Dublin, which of the following do you need? (a) Money (b) A big aerial (c) A cool name (d) This is a trick question, right?
In a bare-knuckle fight between the following, who do you think would win? (a) Keane (b) Maroon 5 (c) Snow Patrol (d) Coldplay.
Speaking of scraps, this year Discotheque had some notable run-ins with pop people, including all but one of the following. Who's the odd one out? (a) Morrissey (b) Madonna (c) Brian McFadden (d) Van Morrison.
The Irish Music Board disbanded in 2004. Which of the following best describes how you feel about this particular piece of news? (a) What, there was an Irish Music Board? (b) What, there is no longer an Irish Music Board? (c) What, the Irish government doesn't give a damn about the Irish music industry? (d) What Music Board?
Finally, an easy one. Disco- theque is written by (a) Kevin Myers (b) Mark Steyn (c) Bob the Builder (d) Some culchie space cadet.
Happy holidays!
