Vanessa Mooney was diagnosed with breast cancer two months after her sister’s cancer diagnosis. Around the same time, their brother was diagnosed with a terminal illness. The family had already lost their mother to lung cancer in 2014 and their father to pneumonia three years earlier.
The Co Offaly woman described receiving her initial diagnosis as like “having an out-of-body experience”.
“On December 10th, 2019, I heard the heart-stopping words: ‘It’s breast cancer.’ I was only 40 years old,” says Mooney. “I remember staring at my surgeon, looking from him to the nurse, and then back to the surgeon again. Sitting beside me was my sister, Veronica, who was diagnosed with lung cancer less than two months beforehand. Standing next to me was my sister Anne, who was holding on to the table by that stage.
“I remember feeling numb, like I was having an out-of-body experience. It felt like I was watching a TV show, thinking, ‘Lord God, that poor woman – she’s only 40, the same age as me.’ But guess what? It was me.”
Two weeks later, on Christmas Eve – after Christmas carol singers greeted her outside St James’s Hospital in Dublin – she was told she would need a mastectomy and the removal of lymph nodes from under her arm, following her breast MRI results. “Waiting for the results of my breast MRI, everything was still so fresh and new. I went in full of hope, thinking, ‘Okay, I’ll get the lump removed, do a bit of chemotherapy, and then I’ll be done’. But then, when my lovely surgeon sat in front of me, I could see in his eyes that he had more bad news to deliver. And he did.
I remember the buzzing of the clippers and seeing my hair fall to the floor. All I wanted to do was run away and hide, except I had nowhere to run and nowhere to hide
“Every emotion and feeling I had rushed to my head, and my eyes filled with tears that would not stop rolling down my face. I remember the salty taste of my tears in my mouth. Looking back now, I knew on that day my life was going to change forever and the harsh reality of cancer had hit me full on.”
In early January, 2020, Vanessa received results confirming that the cancer had not spread, but that she had stage 2B breast cancer (2B means the tumour measures 2-5cm, and there are small areas of cancer cells in the lymph nodes).
She was forced to put her newly established graphic design business on hold and began chemotherapy in the weeks that followed.
Battling the disease at the same time and leaning on each other for support, Vanessa and her sister Veronica jokingly referred to themselves as the “chemo sisters”. The pair used humour as a coping mechanism, recalling their late mother’s saying: “If you didn’t laugh, you’d cry.”
Within weeks of each other, both sisters had their hair shaved by their sister Anne, a barber, as treatment caused their hair to fall out. Vanessa recalls that above all the treatments, having her hair shaved was “one of the hardest things I had to do”.
“I woke up one morning to find my pillow covered in hairs. Losing my hair was the side-effect I feared most. I ignored it for a few days, but then one day in the shower, it started falling out in clumps. My heart felt heavy because I knew it was time to shave it all off.
“I went over to my sister Anne’s house for her to shave it. I remember the buzzing of the clippers and seeing my hair fall to the floor. All I wanted to do was run away and hide, except I had nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. I had to face it, and it was, to this day, one of the hardest things I had to do. Cancer really does strip you down to nothing, and then you have to work so hard to build yourself back up again from scratch.”
Although the youngest sister of a “big Irish family” with 13 siblings, Vanessa described her health battle as an isolating experience. Despite her family’s support, several factors left her feeling alone, including strict Covid-19 restrictions, her desire not to burden her loved ones, and the uncertainty surrounding her illness.
In March 2020, as the world came to a standstill, Vanessa was finishing her fourth round of AC chemotherapy (a combination of two chemotherapy medicines) and preparing to start the chemotherapy drug Taxol at a different hospital. Due to restrictions, she was dropped off outside the Hermitage Hospital in Dublin and had to attend appointments alone.
“When we pulled up outside the hospital, I felt so scared knowing I was facing new chemo. Walking in, it felt like something out of a science fiction movie – so eerie with so few people and everyone wearing masks. When a nurse called my name, I stood up and looked for my sister Veronica, but the reality hit – I was all alone.
“I hid how hard treatment was to my family. We were going through a pandemic, and I didn’t want them to be worried about me.”
Over the course of two years and during a global pandemic, Vanessa faced fear, depression, uncertainty, and many physical and mental hurdles. In terms of cancer treatment, she completed chemotherapy, was put into early menopause, underwent several surgeries, including a mastectomy and breast reconstruction. She had her ovaries removed and endured a three-week course of radiation.
Vanessa began radiation treatment at St Luke’s Hospital in Dublin and stayed in a lodge throughout her treatment. Due to restrictions, she recalls being largely isolated in her room. During this time, she wrote about her cancer journey and Irish upbringing and now has plans to publish it as a memoir in the future to help others.
Vanessa and Veronica are now cancer free.
Throughout her cancer journey, Vanessa developed the idea of creating a support resource for those affected by cancer, believing it would have been invaluable during her own treatment and recovery. The app, Someone Like Me, is set to launch early next year. It’s a free app that aims to support cancer patients, survivors and loved ones by providing a secure platform to share experiences, connect by age and location, and start private chats. (Vanessa is currently seeking donations to support the development of the app. See idonate.ie/crowdfunder/VanessaMooney or someonelikeme.ie). Users will be connected to resources, such as the Marie Keating Foundation and the Irish Cancer Society. There will be local meet-ups and live podcasts, along with information on nearby services such as yoga, fitness classes, and wig specialists. The app aims to offer a comprehensive support network for all types of cancer patients and survivors.
The fear of recurrence is always there. The internet can be a scary place, and this app will direct users to trustworthy resources
“When cancer comes knocking, your world falls apart,” says Vanessa. “Everything happens so fast – chemo, surgery, endless needles and appointments. One day, you wake up and don’t recognise the person in the mirror. I struggled to talk to those close to me about my feelings and fears because I didn’t want to upset them. When treatment ends, the trauma and effects hit hard. I was constantly googling everything, which only worsened my anxiety.
“The fear of recurrence is always there. The internet can be a scary place, and this app will direct users to trustworthy resources. I would have loved an app to connect with people my age who had similar cancer experiences. It was hard talking to someone in their 70s with breast cancer because it’s so different from being diagnosed at 40. Dating after breast cancer also makes you more self-conscious. Suddenly you’re facing early menopause and only those who’ve been through that can really understand.
“Creating the app has been part of my healing. After everything I’ve been through, I just want to help others and ease their struggle in any way I can, offering the resource I wish I had.”
Vanessa is committed to keeping the app free, recognising the financial burden of cancer. “Cancer is a significant financial strain. You’re out of work for a year, and even after treatment, side effects can make returning to work challenging. Your life changes, and you are forced to adjust to a new normal.”
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