Families come in all shapes and sizes, and never is this more apparent than at Christmastime when homes and hearts are opened to loved ones.
This is especially true of the almost 4,000 foster carers in Ireland who have welcomed children from all backgrounds into their homes and cared for them like their own.
Together with her husband Mick, Gráinne Wosser can attest to this as their home has been a safe port for many children over the past 16 years – and she says regardless of how long a child is in their care, they become family. They have enjoyed many Christmases with foster children and always feel privileged to make it a happy occasion for them.
“We once had two boys, age nine and 11, who had never had a Christmas tree and were in awe when we went to choose one with them at a friend’s tree farm,” she says. “They were also really excited to see a table full of food, knowing they could have what they wanted.
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“It’s very rewarding to be able to give a child a Christmas – and while I haven’t given birth to them all, I’m mam to them, for as long as they need me.”
The Kildare couple, who have two children of their own, as well as three siblings who they have fostered long term, know the season can also be an emotional time given the sometimes harsh reality that the children may be feeling anxious and distressed as they are separated from their closest family members.
“I am conscious of that and try to recognise it by having us all gather at the crib and say a prayer for those who can’t be with us,” says Gráinne. “I remember my dad, who died, and the children would remember their families, or their parents, who couldn’t be there.
“It can be a very emotional time. My long-term [foster] children’s mother was a lovely woman, who was sadly unable to rear her children herself, so we all used to go over to her on Christmas Eve, including my own children, and have a mini-Christmas Day with her. It’s a memory that’s especially important to us all, and it’s important to embrace the children’s own biological family, as they will always be part of the child, no matter what the circumstances are.
“But for whatever length of time they are in your home, you’re their family, whether for two weeks or 16 years. And that goes for extended family too. My mum is 88 and she loves seeing the children coming to visit; she’s ‘Nana’ to them all. And my brothers and sisters, they’re the children’s aunts and uncles.”
This Christmas Gráinne and Mick have two foster children in their care and say they are doing everything to make it special.
“We’re trying to get them aware of Santa by showing them pictures of him, but they still don’t quite understand that he will give them presents at Christmas,” she says. “It is sad, though, that they won’t be with their mum and dad, or grandparents; it’s bittersweet.”
The foster mother says that being able to open your home to children in need is a gift, for both the foster carer and child, and not just at Christmas but all through the year. Fostering is open to everyone, from all walks of life and people can register for short-term, long-term, emergency placement or respite fostering.
But, while Ireland is rated among the world leaders when it comes to foster care, there is always room for more carers – and Jacqueline Smyth, national lead, Tusla Fostering, says everyone can help to make a difference.
“Foster parents are people like you and me,” she says. “They are farmers and hairdressers, creche workers and schoolteachers, homemakers and shop assistants who open their homes to children at a time of incredible uncertainty. That gesture and commitment changes children’s lives and it changes the lives of the families who foster in all kinds of amazing ways.
“Now, more than ever, children in our communities need loving, safe, stable homes where they can thrive and grow. You can be that adult who changes a child’s life forever. ”
To find out more, visit www.fostering.ie
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