I don’t know about you, but back when I was a teenager, the idea of bringing my parents to a college open day would have filled me with pure burning embarrassment.
At home, however, I absolutely listened to their advice, even if I didn’t always take it. Parents and guardians still have a big influence on the education and career decisions of their children.
Over the past decade or so, however, more and more third-levels hold parent events at the open days. After all, they are – most likely – the people who will foot the bill for college, so shouldn’t they have a say?
Not necessarily, say career guidance experts. The trick is in getting the balance right.
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It is as much in the nature of adolescents to try to find independence from their parents as it is for a bird to fly the nest, and parents who insist on controlling their lives will either face pushback or long-term resentment.
What parents can do is help their child to think about what courses and colleges they would really be happy in for three or four years. They can remind their child that CAO is no longer the only show in town, with excellent career opportunities also available through apprenticeships and other routes. And, as always, the best approach is not to offer unsolicited advice but instead to ask questions that will prompt them to think about their options. Then, give them time and space to consider their choices.
Bernadette Walsh is a career guidance counsellor with CareersPortal.ie, which is easily the best career advice and support website for Irish students.
“Many parents find it very helpful to attend open days, especially understanding the financial implications and any course fees and associated costs” she says.
“Some young people may want their parents to come to the college open days, especially if they have a disability or other issues, and other young people find the support of their parents or guardians useful. It is somewhat different if they are going with their classmates and their school to the open day, but it can be especially useful for parents to attend if the young person is going without their classmates to, for instance, look into a medicine course.
“It can help them to understand the course options and to have someone to sit down with and talk about their course. What are the pros and cons of it? It is parents who will pay the fees and accommodation costs, and they can be shocked at how much it costs.”
If a parent or guardian is attending an open day with their child, agree to the ground rules first. Are you going to stick by their side, or can you go off and explore one of the parent events, maybe meeting them later or, indeed, coming together at home to discuss what you both found out.
Ailbe Murphy, career guidance counsellor with Studyclix.ie, says that parents or guardians who attend open days are in a good position to help their child.
“Get involved in their research in order to be able to assist them,” she says. “Attend more than one college open day to be able to compare them. Attend career talks. Ask questions to lecturers, as students are too shy sometimes. Find out about course and college requirements and learn about the costs involved. What is campus accommodation like? What do you need to know about application procedures and career prospects? Are there scholarships available? The more knowledge parents have, the more they are equipped to guide their son or daughter through the process.”
Both Murphy and Walsh urge parents and students not to rule out apprenticeships and Post Leaving Cert courses.
“PLCs in the colleges of further education can give a taste of different sectors without the four-year commitment of a degree,” Walsh says. “The level six and seven side of the CAO course can also allow students to exit with a higher certificate after two years, or potentially progress to a level eight. I get nervous when I see articles that solely focus on CAOs and degrees.”
She also points to a new initiative: degrees offered through the National Tertiary Office. These allow students to study one year at further education – widely recognised as an excellent bridge between secondary school and third level – before moving on to a college course. And they don’t involve any fees.
“Ultimately, it comes back to honest, open conversations between parents or guardians and the child,” Walsh says. “It is important that the course is the right fit, as dropout rates can be high. Don’t wait until sixth year for these conversations. Focus on the young person knowing and understanding themselves, and encourage them to reflect – as then they can provide a proper rationale for their decision.
“And remember: if they ultimately find that a course is not the best fit for them, people change pathways and careers all the time.”
A parent and student checklist
Know when the open days are happening: The school careers noticeboard or the Institute for Guidance Counsellors gives guidance counsellors a list of open days to advertise to students, says Murphy.
CareersPortal.ie has one of the best and most accessible open day calendars, breaking down in-person and virtual events across the school year, and it’s well worth parents having a look. You’ll find another useful events calendar on the recently revamped careers website Qualifax.ie.
“Record these dates in your school journal and calendar, and remember that while October and November are busy months for open days, if you miss any there will be more in spring,” Murphy says.
Planning: Open days are free to attend but do register on the college website for them, where you will see a schedule of events for the day and a campus map, she says.
“Preparation is key to get the most out of the day. Decide on what talks you want to attend beforehand. Highlight all the things that you don’t want to miss and then try to fit in all the other things you want to do around that.”
Have questions prepared, says Murphy, offering a few that parents and students might include.
- What courses are on offer?
- Are they available at level seven and level eight?
- What are the college requirements and are there any course requirements?
- Is there an interview involved?
- Or any alternative assessment such as a portfolio, aptitude test or performance. What are the deadlines for submission?
- Are these Restricted Courses which have to be on my CAO form by February 1st?
- What were the points required last year?
- Is the course that I am interested in covered under the Susi grant scheme?
- Will I be studying subjects that I have not taken in secondary school? Can I specialise in second year?
- What’s the weekly timetable like?
- What are the career prospects once I graduate?
- What are other graduates of this course doing now?
- Are there any new courses available, as often these will be on stream as a result of demand in the jobs market. On CAO.ie look up the alert lists issued from colleges on new courses, cancelled courses or changes to course requirements.
“Summarise everything when you get home,” Murphy says. “It’s a good idea to sit down and write out the name of each of the courses that interest you along with all the pros and cons of that course. This way you’ll have a record of your first impressions while they are still fresh in your mind.
“Read through your college prospectus to learn about courses available in more detail, as well as services, clubs and societies and sport facilities.”
