10 things 'The September Issue' will teach you

1. “It’s enough that the models are perfect.” So said uber-stylist Grace Coddington, and so it shall be

1. "It's enough that the models are perfect."So said uber-stylist Grace Coddington, and so it shall be. You can forget about airbrushing those holiday snaps then: life is for living and photography is for documenting it. Nothing more, nothing less.

2. Sunglasses are your new best friend.Who knows what Anna is thinking behind those shades? Nobody – and that's the joy of it.

3. Designers are more temperamental than you may have thought.They design entire collections according to whatever mood strikes them. "I am feeling sad, Anna," says Stefano Pilati, designer at Yves Saint Laurent. Is that an eye roll?

4. Fashion is vacuous.That's according to Bee Shaffer, Anna's daughter. She's going to do law, although Anna wants her to go into fashion editing. Ah, law – perhaps something fulfilling, such as litigation?

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5. 'Vogue' US (although, more specifically, Anna Wintour herself) is the most influential fashion rag in the world.Navy is the new black? Believe it. It's the sartorial gospel.

6. One must always obey one's own sense of style, even when indulging in what the proletariat calls "sport".Andre Leon Talley, is that a Louis Vuitton tennis bag? Oh yes it is.

7. The jacket is the new coat.You heard it here first, but it's Vogue (2007) that we're quoting. Why so, you may ask? Well, the coat is so oppressive, isn't it? (As an addendum to lesson 7, let us suggest that italicising certain words and emphasising them with a certain degree of boredom is trés chic. No, we don't know why.)

8. Sienna Miller, at the time of filming 'The September Issue', had terrible hair.What? We're just saying.

9. Air kissing is the best thing since sliced bread.Too luvvie for you? Then do it, Anna-style, with a slight roll of the eye, pursed lips and no physical contact. Dahhhhling.

10. September is the fashion industry's January.So why not make it yours? September resolutions, September gym memberships, September budget plans – there's no time like the present.

The September Issuegoes on limited release on Friday.