After three years of dropping massive hints I've finally wangled my way onto the judging committee for The Irish TimesSchool Mag competition.
I really can't imagine why I wasn't asked before. It's not like I don't have the relevant experience. At school I may have been too contrary to get involved in self-produced publications but later, having returned to Ireland from waitressing in London, I founded and produced my own newspaper. For a short time around 10 years ago I was editor-in-chief of a cutting-edge publication called The Ingle Times.
I seem to recall watching Citizen Kaneobsessively around the time I first spotted the gap in the publishing market. I also had a lot of time on my hands. I was working part-time as a glass collector and coat hanging operator in a rave nightclub in Dublin, which mostly involved dodging hugs from chemically happy people wearing white gloves and smiley faces badges.
In those pre-Tiger days most of my family were living outside of Ireland. One brother was in New Zealand, a sister was in England, three other brothers were in America and there were three of us left at home. I decided that we needed a newspaper to continue to keep track of each other and so The Ingle Times was born.
The first issue ( The Ingle Times, The Family Paper) was an eclectic mix of features, poetry and letters to the editor. The letters page was called "Write On!". ("Yes, you've guessed it - this is where you get to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and let your views be known!") There was a poetry page ("Poetry in Motion!") and a cookery section containing some of the best-loved dishes cooked by our mother ("Like Mama Used To Make!"). With a nod to Lewis Carroll, the puzzle page was called "Curiouser and Curiouser . . . !". It turns out I used an embarrassing amount of exclamation marks in those days!!! I think I thought they made everything sound funnier and more important!!! Bless!!!!!! (Stop it now, Ed) On the front page my brother Brian controversially questioned the need for a publication such as The Ingle Times: "Just a thought. Roisin said in her introductory letter that The Ingle Timeswould be a way of keeping in touch even though we are spread all around the world. Maybe it's worth thinking about the idea that the reason we are all so far away from each other is that we want to lead lives completely independent of each other."
Despite this dissension in the ranks, The Ingle Timescontinued and the second issue contained a front page "exclusive!!!" review of a secret Prince gig: "Prince came to Dublin and played in The Point. He also played in trendy Dublin nightspot the POD where my friend Marie and I were fortunate to have a couple of pina coladas with him and shoot the breeze about the brutality of the record industry (in our dreams). It was a great gig though, Bono sang The Crosswith him." If I ever ended up in real-life journalism I clearly wasn't destined for The Ticket.
My favourite section in The Ingle Timeswas called "The Ledge In the Hall . . . !" a page for miscellaneous writings. The ledge in the hall in our house in Sandymount used to be where everything - keys, letters, bills, fuzzy lollipops - got dumped. You never knew what you were going to get. Peter wrote about seeing Roddy Doyle in Seattle, Rachael about buying a flat in England and Sarah wrote an article entitled "A Day In The Life Of a Part-Time Lecturer, PhD Student and Full-Time Wife and Mother". Phew!!! Mother's meatloaf recipe proved popular: "8 oz pork sausage meat, if you can't get this just buy half a pound of sausages, leave them in cold water for a few minutes and then they will slip out of their skins in a most satisfying way." Nigella eat your heart out. My brother Michael wrote poetry from his house-boat in Sausalito, California. Here's a snippet from a poem called Overcoming: "No Mon, no fun or so I'm told/ But I've got me on my side, I made myself to be big and bold/ So thru this petty life I'll glide." He's still gliding today.
Unfortunately, The Ingle Timesnever made it past the fledgling publication phase, although a revival isn't out of the question. In the meantime I'd advise all School Mag competition entrants to keep it original, take risks and most importantly have a laugh with your publication.
So far the best thing about being a School Mag judge has been a high-powered meeting in the boardroom at the top of our new building. Pastries were provided. And I have it on good authority that unlike previous years the deadlines are being strictly enforced, so make sure you register your school for the competition immediately by e-mailing irishtimesschoolmag@real-event.ie, or see www.irishtimesschoolmag.ie. Your entries must be in no later than February 7th. Until then, write on!!!!!!!!!!