I’m in New York, the place I’ve called home for the past 32 years. Feels like I’m in. It’s sure in me. It’s now very familiar, I have a comfort level with most people. I can more or less intuit the intentions of others from their expressions, demeanours, accents, backgrounds, and the contexts in which I meet them.
New Yorkers come from every corner of the globe. It’s a big city, and I’ve lived in many different parts of it, recently settling in a suburb just north of the city. Of course New York wasn’t really home yet in the early years, as I was trying to make a living in various occupations, while figuring out how to get a college education.
My first impressions were of the immensity and anonymity of the city. The feeling of not being noticed, of not counting for much, was daunting. It’s a city on the move, its neighbourhoods seemingly always in flux.
By the time I arrived in New York I already had a fair amount of travel under my belt. I had lived in London, Germany, and Israel, but the anonymity of this city was palpable. I felt lonely. I had no familiar contacts from Ireland to call on. A kind relative of my father's generation provided a bed and an initial taste of American suburban life. But, wanting to be part of the city and its seemingly endless opportunities for work and social and educational enrichment I settled, in an unsettled way, in the city itself and its diverse neighbourhoods. Some of these areas were sketchy, and being mugged was a risk to be skirted, confronted, and survived.
Finding my way, and working in a variety of occupations I learned how to deal with others from different economic and social backgrounds. There is an openness in America that is refreshing. Connections are easily made, but in a big city like New York, often just as easily lost. Relationships are not always as enduring as in Ireland.
It is a city made for lives in flux, and, early on, I could relate to that. The ceaseless energy that pushes buildings ever upwards can be felt on the street. Hitching a ride on that flow inspired me towards long-deferred dreams.
This is where I finally went to college and then to graduate school. It is where I started a career, and a career is a form of home too, solidifying my relationship to this place. A career should be something that feels like a good fit, a place of belonging. This didn’t happen until I had tried a number of other occupations. To paraphrase a well-known quote (attributed to Churchill), I did the right thing, but only after trying everything else.
I now work as a clinical psychologist in two different parts of the city: an inner-city neighbourhood in the Bronx, and a starkly contrasting area in wealthy Midtown Manhattan. This brings me face to face with the disparities in perils and possibilities in this metropolis.
I love the access to world-class museums, including the Metropolitan Museum of Art, MOMA, and the Guggenheim; perhaps more than a hundred in all. Theatre is also well represented, with Broadway, Off-Broadway, and Off-Off-Broadway offering every shade of stage experience. I recently saw a production of Hugh Leonard's Da at the Irish Repertory Theatre, a play that highlights the experience of an emigrant who returns to Ireland for his father's funeral.
This city can be very instructive. There are many possible paths in New York. This intimidating, indefatigable, and inspiring city lets me be in America, and also be a part of the world.
