When myself and my husband were joined by baby Max, we knew it was time to move back to Ireland, closer to family support. We had left Ireland for Canada in our 20s, intending to stay only a year in 2009. We loved our life in Vancouver but we had little tying us there, even after seven years. It was time to come home.
As I wrote in my article on Friday (about our experience of job-hunting on our return), our decision ultimately came down to the fact that we wanted to bring up our son in Ireland.
It was still a big decision to leave, and we had moments when we wanted to stay just to avoid all the hassle, or the risk of making a huge mistake. Half the people we talked to thought we were mad, while others tried to convince us life was better at home.
The truth is, childcare would also have blown a hole in our finances in Canada. We couldn’t face the prospect of living on pittance in one of the most expensive cities in the world. At home, at least we’d have support, we figured. We wouldn’t be totally on our own.
This was also a daunting prospect. It was oddly worrying to think we would come to rely on our relatives when we’d had to do it all on our own thus far.
Aside from a visit each from our parents when Max was a few months old, and the advice from our fellow Irish who were also making the terrifying foray into starting families on their own, we’d had to depend only on each other as a couple. There was no running to mum when baby has a temperature or a strange rash, or you’re trying to navigate the rough but fulfilling road of breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding
I often wonder, now that we’re home and I’ve been breastfeeding for over a year thanks to Canada’s generous one-year maternity leave, if I would have lasted as long breastfeeding here? Even our new public health nurse said we would have quite a different experience for our next child. She couldn’t believe no-one had even mentioned formula to me in St Paul’s Hospital in Vancouver.
My friends think I’m a bit weird for still breastfeeding, and laugh that I’m going to be one of those mothers “exposing myself to the world” for their hungry five-year-olds, but I’m not sure that would be frowned upon in Canada; it would probably be celebrated.
Breastfeeding seems to be becoming more accepted here though, thank God; although a few people have still suggested I feed Max in the toilets when I’m out, which is hardly hygienic for anyone involved!
Luckily, children’s first year vaccinations are pretty similar between Ireland and Canada, so Max was up to date, and just got his thirteen month shots here.
Red tape
The debacle of getting his PPS number was much more time-consuming, unfortunately, because we had stupidly packed his birth certificate in our shipping goods home, which took over a month to arrive after we did. It could have been worse though, because the other shipping companies we got quotes from can take over three months to deliver personal effects. First stop, Penneys!
The welfare.ie website says you only need your child’s passport to get their PPS number, so I was rightly miffed when we went to his appointment - which took weeks to get - only to be told with a laugh that their website was a year out of date, so we would need his birth cert too.
It was another few weeks before we could get another appointment, which delayed the process of getting child allowance and a medical card. The claim can be backdated, but that’s troublesome still for people relying on that financial assistance.
The Citizen's Information website is a great resource, but it can be a lot to take in too, so I would advise going old school and picking up the phone to check with an actual human. Although, as above, beware that you can still be given misinformation, depending on who answers.
We were warned about school waiting lists before we came home - I heard about some returning mums putting their toddlers names down for secondary school - and I couldn’t quite believe that having your child baptised might give them priority for primary school, but we intended to get Max Christened anyway, so it sped up the process. By the time the Minister for Education manages to remove the baptism barrier from schools, Max may or may not be guaranteed a place. We’re not sure what we’ll do then.
At least we have options here, we know the area, and we can ask our families’ advice. In Vancouver, we would have been totally clueless where to even start and any traditions we grew up with would obviously have been very different for Max. No Irish or religion - now, some may argue that they don’t really serve us in the long run anyway, unfortunately - but I want to at least give him a chance to learn about Ireland and Irishness. Our national culture is evolving, at last, but we’re happy our son will get to experience that for himself now.
[ We moved Home to Work but where are all the promised jobs?Opens in new window ]
