Fancy a quiet pint? Care for a civilised meal? Forget it. Anna Carey examines the rise and rise of background music. What did you say?
In Irish cities the quiet pint - and indeed the quiet sandwich - have become a sort of holy grail. As more pubs, cafes and restaurants install sound systems, the chatty lunch or drink with friends has turned into a shouting match, with drinkers and diners forced to shout to be heard - which raises the noise level even more. And so those pubs and restaurants which eschew music for conversation have become all the more sought after and prized, because there are lots of us who want to hear only one thing over the speakers when out for a drink - the sound of silence. And no, not the Simon and Garfunkel song.
There are, of course, city pubs that refuse to play music. But most of them stay music-free by keeping strict rules. Mulligan's of Poolbeg Street in Dublin not only doesn't have a stereo, it doesn't allow customers to make their own music. "We tell them to stop singing or we'll refuse to serve them," says Mulligan's barman Noel. "People know it's a traditional pub - there's no singing, no music and the telly is only for big matches."
Neary's of Chatham Street, Dublin, is another traditional boozer that has remained music-free. "We've no sound system so unless we hum it, it's not going to happen," says manager Joanna Hardy. The pub tried playing music in the upstairs lounge for a while, but gave up when customers complained. "People would just tell us it was irritating," says Hardy. "They'd come up to the bar and ask us to turn off that racket!"
In fact, if you ask around, you'll find very few people who really want loud music unless they're in a nightclub - and that includes some bar and club owners. "I believe that bars are for meeting and having a drink," says Eoin Foyle of Sherland Entertainments, which owns the Globe, Gubu and Café Bar Deli among other popular venues. "I'd go mad if I walked in somewhere and it was too loud."
Foyle, a former DJ, keeps a close eye on the music played in Sherland's various venues, providing those that play the music with iPods filled with special playlists that he compiles himself. The Globe used to feature daytime DJs "but people were complaining. DJs are difficult to control and they'll turn the volume up to 11."
So why are some pubs playing music so loud you can't hear yourself think? Well, everyone who's been in a noisy pub knows that if the music is too loud to talk, you end up drinking more, although it's impossible to find any loud pub owners who will admit that. Many people also believe that it's a ploy to attract young customers. "Young people do tend to be much more passive," says marketing expert Michael Cullen. "So maybe they have a need to be entertained, whether it's by music or not. We're in a very noise-led culture, so they have no problem with loud music on because they're used to it."
One thing that has definitely influenced the rise in volume of pub music is club culture, although some pubs don't seem to realise that what's perfect for the dancefloor isn't quite the same when you're stuck at a table in the corner of a dancefloor-free pub. Some venues, however, have thrived by blurring the boundaries between pub and club. "We see music as entertainment, not just background noise," says manager Caroline McCabe of Philip Hickey, which owns the Barge and Messrs Maguire in Dublin, among others. They decided to make DJed music a big part of the Barge when it became one of the first pubs with a late licence 12 years ago.
"If you're expecting people to stay that long, you have to give them entertainment. Otherwise people leave a pub and go to a club. So if you have entertainment that will hold them there. We took a chance on doing it, and it worked from day one." McCabe points out that as their pubs are pretty large, there are areas where the music is quieter, but those who want to strut their stuff to the pounding beats can do so without going off and paying a tenner to get into a club. She says that it really does attract customers - "If you didn't have [ the music] there, the customers filter out at about 11." The customers also have a chance to contribute to the music policy. "We gave out questionnaires to the public [ with lists of artists] and asked people to tick who they wanted to listen to. We changed our DJs in [ one bar] because the DJs were thinking of it as a nightclub" - where they were the stars - "rather than listening to what the customers wanted." To some punters, this mixture of pub and club is the best of both worlds.
Of course, even those who don't want their drinks accompanied by loud beats have to admit that subtle and unobtrusive music can serve a purpose, especially in a restaurant. "In the early part of the evening, it can be essential," says Henry O'Neill, chief executive of the Restaurants Association of Ireland. "When people walk in to the near-empty restaurant it can put them at their ease." Although O'Neill says that, as the evening goes on, "the room warms up" and the music "becomes irrelevant". "Imagine going in to an empty room where everything is pristine, the linen is standing up, the glasses are winking at you - you're nearly afraid to say anything," he says. "Background music might allow you a tete-a-tete without feeling that the staff can hear everything you say perfectly."
Music can also motivate workers. "There's a lot of pressure behind the counter, especially at lunchtime" says Adrian Reynolds, who owns the creperie chain Lemon. "The music is there to keep us going and gets us into the right rhythm." But the customers must come first. "The music can't be too intrusive for the customers," says Reynolds. "Sometimes when you're very busy it's easy for the music to be turned up just one notch too many. But the customers will keep you on their toes and we soon realise it's too loud for them and turn it down straight away. If we didn't, people won't come back."
Reynolds plans the music to match not only the time of day but the weather. "On a wet day you'd definitely hear reggae or dub - something that will pick you up," he says. "You won't hear Morrissey at 8am, but you may well hear him at 5pm."
Music in a pub or cafe can be entertaining. Part of the appeal of the late, lamented Welcome Inn on Dublin's Parnell Street was that your sociable drinking was likely be accompanied by good music by Nick Cave. The key thing was, the tunes were playing at the same volume you might play them in your sitting room, rather than blaring out so loudly you had to yell to be heard. And these days, that's pretty rare.
So those of us who want clubs to be clubs and pubs to be pubs will just have to keep seeking out the pubs where the noisiest sound is that of tinkling glasses and cheerful conversation. They may be rarer, but they do still exist. And luckily, some of them have no intention of ever changing - not least because their customers would go mad if they did. "Would I introduce music again?" says Joanna Hardy of Neary's. "Let's just say that if I did, I think I'd have to go into a witness protection scheme."
DISQUIET IN THE WORKFORCE
Loud noise may be annoying to customers, but it can have an even more serious effect on workers in such establishments. At a recent European Safety Week event to promote noise safety in the workplace, the Health and Safety Authority's Chief Executive Tom Beegan warned that hearing loss has been recognised as the most common irreversible workplace injury. He described such long-term hearing damage as "an accident happening in slow motion". According to the HSA, hearing damage caused by excessive noise in the workplace results affects one third of Ireland's workforce. But there is hope for the battered ears of bar and cafe workers - new EU legislation which is set to come into force early next year will reduce the allowed decibel level of workplace music.