Life & Style

It’s a mathematical certainty this might be a Blue Monday

It is your destiny to feel rubbish today, unless you’re happy. In that case, stay as you are

“You have spent too much at Christmas. Your pay is taking an interminable time to land in your account. The weather is awful. It is dark. You want to marry the person you love, but can’t because the law won’t let you.” File photograph: Getty Images

Anthea McTeirnan's face
Anthea McTeirnan
Mon Jan 19 2015 - 14:30

Those of you who got caught up in the retail frenzy of Black Wednesday on November 19th are going to love the pseudo-science behind Blue Monday.

Every third Monday in January is now a “Blue” one, we are told.

Today it is your destiny to feel rubbish.

You have spent too much at Christmas. Your pay is taking an interminable time to land in your account. The weather is awful. It is dark. You want to marry the person you love, but can’t because the law won’t let you (If you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, you can definitely add it to the list of things that are making today Blue).

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So who first decided that Blue Monday is the most depressing day of the year?

Stand up Dr Cliff Arnall, who is credited with coming up with a mathematical equation that, when run through the mainframe, comes up with the same date - every year.

Extremely unlikely

However, it is extremely unlikely that there is a reliable set of external factors that causes depression in an entire population at the same time every year, according to Dr Dean Burnett, a doctor of neuroscience who teaches at Cardiff University.

“Here’s the most important bit: is it really the most depressing day of the year? No.” QED, Dr Burnett.

The fact that scientists are fighting may be enough in itself to make you question the validity of the whole concept. But so may zero-hours contracts, unemployment and the kind of “flexible” working arrangements that make a nonsense of people waiting for a pay cheque that is never going to come. Never. Not just with a few extra days to stretch to. Never.

The brave new world of work and non-work may have made a day like Blue Monday redundant.

Now that’s “Blue”.

Kill a bit of time

If you are actually feeling down in the dumps, you could always kill a bit of time by listening to the original Blue Monday by New Order and having a bit of a dance.

At seven-and-a-half minutes, it is one of the longest tracks ever to chart in the UK and went on to become the best-selling 12-inch of all time.

“Tell me how do I feel

Tell me now how do I feel”

Actually, lads, let’s leave how we are feeling out of this.

Happy Monday.

New Order