When the waters do start rising, Michael McAleer,Motoring Editor, knows where he wants to be: safe inside a €130,000 leather-seated Mercedes GL
The ice is melting, in case you've missed it. According to the "experts" every time you start your engine there's another splash in the ocean. And according to the latest environmental report, the resulting rise in water levels could see Limerick, Dublin, Cork and Galway under water within 50 years.
The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) report last week claimed that at least 300 square kilometres of the country are likely to be permanently flooded by rising seas.
It goes on to say that summer temperatures could rise by as much as 3 degrees Celsius and violent winter storms experienced once every 100 years will now become an annual event.
Now, some of you may say that we have heard this sort of doomsday scenario before. You may recall in the 1970s that environmental experts at the time predicted we'd all be icicles by now.
A few sceptics may also question whether the CO2 emissions coming out of the rear of your Hyundai really could make all the difference when CO2 emissions from volcanoes, methane from the rear end of cattle and the enormous levels of water vapour in the atmosphere realistically make man-made CO2 pretty insignificant in the overall equation.
There will even be those who are so bold as to suggest the great fireball in the sky that's 1.3 million times the size of our little planet and is burning at temperatures in excess of 10 million degrees might just have a little more impact on temperatures than we are being led to believe by such reports.
Of course, the problem with such environmental heresy is that were it true, then there's little we can do about it. In our high-tech culture, where we're led to believe we can control our own destinies, the idea that something as uncontrollable as the sun could determine our future goes against the very foundations of our modern-day belief system.
No, put such thoughts out of your mind and start pointing the finger of blame: global warming is the motorist's fault. SUV owners have put the planet in danger. The greatest threat to life as we know it has been identified as the mother of three on the school run.
Sadly, it may already be too late. These female despots may have already destroyed the planet beyond repair.
According to the EPA report: "It may be too late to prevent a catastrophic sea level rise (of six metres)." An EPA spokesman said it was no longer just a matter of reducing emissions, but also of adapting to those changes and impacts that are now unavoidable.
If that's the case, then perhaps the SUV owners are the realists in the current debate. They are forward-thinkers - adapting to the imminent changes in a society gripped by fear.
After all, if Dublin is to become the new Atlantis, the Midlands a new Everglades for Ireland, and Carlow a new seaside resort, then a rugged SUV may be the only answer for personal transport in the future.
EPA predictions are for Ireland to encounter severe weather, frequent flooding and savage winter storms. If the future is that wild and untamed, then Mercedes GL owners will be well prepared. This is the sort of luxury SUV that you'd need to work your way along the coastal roads of Cavan in the years to come, with enough room for seven adults and an inflatable life raft in the boot.
This is not one of your urban school-run soft-roaders. True, many will fall into the hands of the scourge of modern society - women with children.
Yet the GL is capable of so much more. It's designed to sit between the rather "soft-road" ML version and its outright off-roader, the G-Wagon. The latter is Germany's answer to the Land Rover Defender, though a lack of right-hand-drive models during the early years meant it failed to establish a foothold here.
The G-wagon was something of an off-road icon, but the new GL isn't trying to steal its thunder.
Instead, it's a cross-breed of a G-wagon with the R-Class people carrier ability and S-Class luxury finish. The end result is a €130,000 luxury car that manages to accommodate seven adults while traversing the wilderness.
The interior trim is opulent, as one would expect from this level of Mercedes.
Along with these accoutrements, the GL features a new electronic rear seat system that deploys the third row of seats at the touch of a button, rather than having its owners pull and fiddle around with seat cushions.
This third row is relatively low to the ground, forcing occupants to squat rather than sit, but there is enough leg room for adults nevertheless, and even with those seats up there is impressive luggage space; far more so in fact than on either the R-Class or the likes of the Audi Q7. It's certainly more commodious than the X5 with seven seats in action.
That's just one element of the equation, however. Just because the cabin is lined with leather and walnut doesn't mean it's a wimp out in the wilds. Instead, think of this rather as an S-Class in wellies.
The GL comes with the usual array of high-tech off-road assistance and has height adjustment, hill descent, permanent four-wheel-drive, lockable differentials, air suspension and a low ratio set of gears.
It has a potential ground clearance of 307mm, can conquer approach and departure angles of 37 and 27 degrees respectively.
We actually tested this great beast on the beaches of Denmark recently - just to see what it will be like when the sea laps into Athlone in the near future - and it was incredibly adept, particularly considering we pitted it against some other nominal off-roaders at the time, which were slightly more fetching in appearance but far less able in the sticky sand. It even manages to wade in water up to 600mm deep.
And that's the crucial difference between the GL and rivals like the Audi Q7 or even the BMW X5.
While the others are high-set SUVs, their credentials are largely as on-road people carriers. You have only to note the relatively low-set bodies and the alloy wheels to get the idea.
This, on the other hand, is meant to be as competent off-road as on. If you want a big on-road people carrier, Mercedes will put you into the R-Class. If it's suburban posing you're after, then they'll sit you into the ML. This is for people who want to carry seven into the field, and know they'll get out the other end without even breaking into a sweat.
Of course, there is one problem facing owners of the GL: while it excels off-road, many will be wary of throwing a €130,000 Mercedes into a muddy ditch, regardless of our assurances that it will work its way out. In terms of on-road ability, it has the stature and certainly more flexibility than any of its rivals to date, even if it doesn't offer the same degree of handling prowess. In comfort mode the air suspension left us with too much bodyroll, while sports mode gives a bumpy ride.
Steering is also quite neutral for our tastes, though this is something of a Mercedes trait these days. This, combined with a relatively poor turning circle and its sheer size, meant it was a tricky beast to feed through crowded city streets, never mind trying to reverse into an on-street parking spot.
A choice of engines is on offer - all big and relatively thirsty. Our particular test car was powered by a 4.2-litre V8 diesel unit that put out an impressive 700Nm of torque or pulling power, and manages to get from 0-100km/h in just 7.6 seconds. Given that this vehicle weighs over 2.5 tonne, that's supercar performance.
It's mated to a smooth seven-speed automatic gearbox that slips through the cogs with ease and the only nudge towards realising the sheer effort is when you pull off from a crawl and call on the engine's 302 horses to gallop at once. It's only then that the diesel engine note works its way into the well-soundproofed cabin. Then there's a momentary delay as the engine gets the gears in order and pitches this giant lump of metal into the horizon.
In return for that performance, fuel consumption is less than frugal - rarely falling below double digit L/100km figures - and even those CO2 emissions are relatively high, hitting 307g/km.
That equates with a Porsche 911 Turbo, though it's only as bad as the rest of its rivals, for none of these two tonne behemoths are going to drag all that heavy metal around without letting out a polluting sigh.
Take the Toyota Land Cruiser VX, for instance. Its 4.2-litre diesel spews out 340g/km, and only manages a 0-100km/h time of 13.1 seconds, nearly twice as long as the GL.
Where the Mercedes most impressed is in its inherent flexibility: seven adults have never had it so good in an SUV and certainly not one that could actually take on the rough and tumble of off-roading.
At €130,000, the GL's not a viable option for many when the great floods come, but for those who fancy the bulk and have the cash, it's a more practical workhorse than the on-road rivals such as Q7 or X5.
At the end of the day, whether it's the sun, the CO2 or the flatulent cattle that's causing our changing climate, when things get stormy, even the most ardent tree hugger will prefer to be lounging on the leather seats of the GL than furiously pedalling his bicycle.
Factfile
Mercedes GL 420 CDI
CC:3,996
BHP: 302
0-100km/h:7.6 sec
Top speed: 230km/h
Consumption: 11.8 L/100km (23.9 mpg)
Price:€119,850
L/100km (MPG)
Urban: 16.0(17.6)
Extra-urban: 9.4 (30.1)
Combined:11.8 (23.9)
CO2 emissions:313g/km
Annual road tax:€1,343
Price: €119,850 (€117,110 to €130,869)
ENGINE:A 4-litre V8 diesel engine, with seven-speed automatic gearbox, putting out 302bhp @ 3,600rpm and a massive 700Nm of torque between 2,000 and 2,600rpm
SPECIFICATION: High level of standard specification includes: ESP/ETS stability and traction system: ABS with Brake Assist; Adaptive damping system with three settings; Multi-stage dual front and side airbags with windowbags for all seat rows; air suspension; Automatic braking for downhill descents; Leather seats; 19" alloys (18" on GL 320 CDI); cruise control.
Optional extras:a wide and varied shopping list as you would expect from a top-end Mercedes. Options on our test model included: Parktronic (€1,473); Wood/leather multi-function steering wheel (€1,193); electric opening tailgate (€552); and twin spoke light alloys (€1,735).