My 1999 Honda Deauville and I had grown apart. Just like that couple in the restaurant who just eat and say nothing to each other.
I had bought her up in Belfast two years previously for £2,700 - one owner, 15,000 miles, full touring kit and a Honda envelope stuffed full of service history. After currency and taxes she cost me €4,200 to bring down, saving about €2,500 on the equivalent bike in the Republic.
The Deauville owed me nothing but now I fancied a great value Honda ST1100 Pan European and I knew exactly where to get one.
Let's face it, a used motorcycle in the Republic doesn't represent good value. The market is small with few bikes to choose from and they're generally badly maintained and overpriced. We tend to put high mileage, so bikes age fast. We don't stick as rigidly as we should to the service schedule.
But just cast your eyes up north or across the water to Britain. There we find relatively low mileage bikes which have been well looked after. People tend to want the latest model which depresses the price of older bikes - they cost thousands less then and getting your hands on one is a lot easier than you think.
So I trawled the internet for used bike sites offering "Pans". I quickly establish that most of the bikes I'm interested in are already sold, so I know that when I find one I have to move quickly.
September, when fair-weather bikers are selling up, is the best time to buy. After a couple of days a 1998 Pan appears - 2 owners 32k, FSH, Datatag MOT £3,400 ono . . . and only 20 miles from my relative's house in Southport.
So I ring owner Gary. He's 45, has a wife who rides with him and four kids . . . precious little chance of him trashing the bike with his wife on board, I figure. "Has it been dropped? How long have you had it?" I ask for a detailed description of the service history, tyres and any scratches or scrapes.
With all the boxes ticked, Gary gives me first option on the bike - he agrees with me that a tyre-kicker would hardly bother to travel from Dublin to Preston.
Next day I arrange to meet my brother-in-law at the ferry in Dun Laoghaire on his weekly Friday commute back to Southport. We head straight up to see the bike at Gary's home.
I like what I see. Gary's Pan is almost exactly as described except for a more worn back tyre and a slight scuff on one of the panniers - these can be negotiating points.
I ask to see the service history and MOT. Then I check the frame and engine numbers on the log book and the bike. They all match.
I feel the engine. It's cold and starts first time, sounding and feeling tight. The forks and the head bearings are checked and are fine.
Gary has become a curious onlooker with a face of a man not expecting me to find anything major wrong with his bike. I don't.
"She's grand," I say. "I'll run a HPI check, take her for a test ride tomorrow and, subject to that, we'll do a deal.
Gary looks like I've just accused him of murder - the HPI is a British motor industry database which checks if a car or bike has been "clocked, nicked, knackered or is still on the never never". He says it will come back clear, but I want to run it for peace of mind.
Next day I'm back at Gary's. The HPI check is clear and I have temporary insurance. I take the bike for a 40-minute test ride and put her through all the rigours of my daily commute in to Dublin.
It feels and sounds fine. braking in a nice straight line. I stop at various points to listen to the engine. I also notice a few more minor scratches.
Overall, everything else is fine and I head back. After short negotiations we settle on £3,250, with Gary pointing out that it was already cheap at £3,400. Still, both of us are happy.
We sign the logbook. Gary wants to send it to the vehicle registry in Swansea, but I insist that there's no point as I'm exporting it and need the logbook to register it in Ireland. That's settled and I say goodbye.
I dash along the north Welsh coast on my new Pan to catch the ferry home - it's a memory that will stay with me forever. The roads and the scenery are spectacular and, although I've done nothing wrong I feel like a highwayman with the value I've got.
When I get home it's down to the Revenue Commissioners in Naas. A very helpful woman checks the documentation against the bike and charges me the princely sum of €286 VRT and gives me my Irish registration and tax form.
The Pan is mine for a little over €5,000. I've had it valued at €7,000. Not a bad saving for three days work!