A guide to what's hot and what's not
WHAT'S HOT
Massage chairs in hairdressersNow that's what I call a highlight.
The sweet FADavid v Goliath, mudbaths for pitches and Sky don't have all the matches. The FA Cup feels all warm and fuzzy again.
Steam ovensHow green are those veggies.
Google EarthFind your own house, navigate your way around the planet and generally feel like Neil Armstrong.
Chomsky at the RDSWednesday's lecture by Noam the Know-All is sold out, with a thousands-strong waiting list. Next time, book Croker.
Creme Eggs returnAnd there goes the diet.
WirelessCan we get a new description for this technology, because it's tiring explaining to octogenarians that's it's not the natty gadget they listened to Mr Churchill on.
WHAT'S COLD
Bad handwritingMake an effort, people. And that includes doctors.
Novice MBT wearersLook out. Here comes a virtual drunk.
Sudoku one-upmanshipOnly "hard" players inquire which level you're at. If anyone asks, say you do only 16x16s now. Or have moved on to Kakuro. Or Karate.
Men with earmuffsDo you still have a receipt for those, dear?
Joint bank accountsSo that's how you knew I visited the ATM four times between midnight and 4am.
Gillian McKeithSo annoying, you'd guzzle down the fizzy drinks just to spite her.
Mis-indicating at roundaboutsAny chance of a public information campaign? It would cut road rage by half.
Thanks to: James Brennan; Phyl Clarke; Shane Hegarty; Marie Kennedy; Des Kiely; Angela Leahy. To contribute to the Index, e-mail your Hots and Colds to index@irish-times.ie