Who'll make the big decisions in 20 years? Imagine it was this lot
President: Gerry Adams
The former leader of the country's biggest party is now the grand old man of politics, a respected politician with a gift for bridging political divides.
Taoiseach: Luke Flanagan
It is seldom mentioned that he began his political career under the assumed name of "Ming the Merciless", and campaigned to legalise cannabis, then as Minister for Justice banned the substance in 2021, but it is this chameleon quality that has made Flanagan Ireland's most successful politician.
Ireland manager: Roy Keane
The great debate that ended in the unification of Northern and Southern soccer teams under one manager now seems a bit beside the point, since none of the current team's members was born on the island. But who cares, if straight- talking manager Roy Keane can give us a second World Cup next year.
Biggest TV star: Pat Kenny
The public complains about his lack of warmth and frequent gaffes, but no obvious successor has emerged to take over his prime-time radio and TV shows. In 2025, there remains much media speculation over the closely guarded secret of his earnings.
US Ambassador to Ireland: Jenna Bush
Not since Jean Kennedy Smith has Ireland been honoured with an ambassador from one of America's great political dynasties.
Eurovision hopeful: Madonna
She's no Dana, and she hasn't aged half as well as Linda Martin, but it's such an honour to have the superstar living in Co Offaly - she doesn't even get a tax break any more - that we agreed to let her sing the song that was composed electronically by the entire population sending one word each.
Best-loved senator: Dr Zaius
The irrepressible fun-loving academic is not only a world authority on PS, I Love You - recently voted the greatest Irish novel of all time - but also a tireless campaigner for simian rights, a growing political issue since the first visitors arrived from Monkey Planet.
Ireland's top model:Polly Lyons
The child of ex-models Sonia Reynolds and Barry Lyons is said to be the most beautiful woman in Ireland, and was destined to be modelling royalty before she was born.