One January morning in secondary school, my classmate boldly announced that his new year resolution was to “give up making them”, insisting that this unique approach at least guaranteed success, unlike previous attempts. While his school report suggested otherwise, my old friend possessed wisdom beyond his years, as studies routinely reveal that most adults abandon their resolutions within weeks of making them.
Despite their bad reputation, life coach and author Fiona Brennan still advocates for new year resolutions, believing them to be a wonderful opportunity to harness the fresh energy January brings.
“When we start something new – a job, a relationship or a year – our motivation naturally rises,” she tells me. “A blank slate offers us hope.”
While January brings new possibilities, Fiona insists it’s not actually the calendar that holds the power; it’s us. When we focus less on the magic of the new year and more on the promises we make to ourselves, she believes we can create long-lasting change in our lives.
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According to Fiona, people don’t always understand why they’re making resolutions, and that’s precisely why so many fail.
“Too often, goals are chosen based on social pressure or expectations rather than genuine personal desire,” she says. “For example: ‘I should be married by now, so I’ll resolve to date more.’ This kind of goal often brings frustration, low self-esteem and a sense of failure rather than growth.”
Fiona believes that lasting change comes from tapping into internal motivation – the deeper reason behind the goal. Suppose our external goal is to get fitter, then we’re more likely to achieve success by focusing on our internal motivation, which could be to become more active so we can play football with our children or grandchildren.
“When we connect our goals to values that matter to us, we’re far more likely to stay committed,” she says.
Fiona concedes that when progress feels slow, motivation wanes, but genuine growth requires patience – a virtue that has all but vanished in the modern age of instant gratification. As such, on our journey towards achieving our overall goal, we must celebrate the small wins, enabling us to build momentum.
Fiona also emphasises the importance of long-term commitment because, over time, good habits become ingrained in our subconscious. Most importantly, she encourages us to be compassionate towards ourselves.
“The key is to approach the resolutions without self-criticism or the pressure of not being good enough. If you slip up, don’t be harsh on yourself. Missing one day doesn’t undo progress – just start again the next day.”
An alternative to new year resolutions is to set monthly intentions, which Fiona describes as “small, adaptable goals that evolve as life changes”.
She adds, “The start of the year is one chance for reflection, but so is the start of each month. Use those moments to track progress and celebrate it.”
