Malaysia could do with a man like St Patrick. "Our pythons, you know - they'll eat a person head first," said Mr T.G. Lim, a tourist from Kuala Lumpur, at Cork's best and brightest St Patrick's Day parade for years.
Nothing quite so startling as a man-eating reptile wound its way round the banks of the river Lee yesterday, but the dragons, ostriches, time-travellers, skeleton men and zany magicians came close enough for the thousands of children perched on the shoulders of sweltering parents. Organisers estimated that about 100,000 people turned up to see more than 50 floats representing civic and cultural groups.
"A few years ago, the parade was too commercial. It looked just like traffic. We wanted to make it more cultural again, something kids would like and people would come out to," said Mr Michael Walsh, of Cork Junior Chamber of Commerce, the parade organisers. Along with traditional pipe bands and Irish dancers, arts groups came out in strength. Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter and the Queen of Shamrocks shuffled about at a Barry's tea party. "I'm not playing with the full deck," said the Queen, Roisin McCullough, of the Irish Operatic Repertory, "but what we are doing is umm . . . stylistic, military manoeuvres."
The Cork Arts Theatre gave examples of "theatre throughout the 20th century", which included such diverse characters as Hamlet, Maid Marion, a dragon and a cat. Foreign participants made up for their lack of numbers with much hard work. Silke Schaefer, from Dortmund, Germany, walked through the city with a full-size corrachan - a paddling currach - around her waist, a model boat on her head and a grin on her face. Silke's male Irish colleagues on a trainee boat-building scheme, Meitheal Mara, followed manfully behind, pulling an ordinary currach on well-oiled wheels. "We have the ambulance right behind us if anyone needs it," said Robin Francis.
San Francisco is twinned with Cork and 26 uniformed policemen came with friends and wives for the march. "This is the last year of the millennium. We wanted to celebrate with our sister city," said Capt Jack Leeson. "We've been having a wonderful time. The city is looking so pleasant, but Jeez, my fingers have been itching since I got here. The way people drive over here I could have a field day giving out tickets." Speeding tickets would not be an issue for Sheila McGrath, from Whitechurch, on her 1870 phaeton carriage pulled by a tiny pony, Black Beauty, which was a favourite with young children.
Older children homed in on Bobby, the Boston cop, who wandered about pulling handkerchiefs out of people's sleeves and making children shout "magic, magic, magic" at the tops of their voices.
A time-travel boat, manned by an evil professor, his time pirates and sea monster prisoners, was the judges' and children's overall favourite, and its creators, Cork Community Art Link, won the prize for most imaginative entry.