Ahern spins as Kenny casts off shackles

Dail Sketch/Frank McNally: No one who saw it will ever forget the cathartic moment in the 1994 Eurovision when Irish dancing…

Dail Sketch/Frank McNally:No one who saw it will ever forget the cathartic moment in the 1994 Eurovision when Irish dancing was at last freed from its historic shackles and loosed upon an unsuspecting world.

Maybe it was only a coincidence that the economy started booming around the same time, and that within months there was a ceasefire in the North. But for many of us, the peace and prosperity of modern Ireland are inextricably linked with the decision to dispense with the convention of Irish dancers holding their hands rigidly by their sides while performing.

Enda Kenny is clearly still inspired by the memory, and yesterday in the Dáil he dreamed aloud about doing for the Irish language what Riverdance did for Irish dancing. Making school Irish compulsory was the old, rigid stance, he suggested to the Taoiseach. Removing the compulsion would allow the language to wave its arms around like Michael Flatley and Jean Butler. Its legs would follow.

Offered a part in Enda's chorus line (the FG man noted gently that the Taoiseach's Irish might not be up to one of the lead roles) Bertie Ahern wasn't sure.

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Removing the compulsion might leave the language without a leg to stand on, he worried. Besides, he said, it was only the "complicated grammar" that put people off. If there was more emphasis on "the spoken word", Irish might yet thrive.

The fáinne-wearing Trevor Sargent suggested English grammar was just as complex. Bertie of all people could hardly disagree. Irish may not have prospered under the Taoiseach, but even his critics would concede that, by his mistreatment of English, he's done his bit for the cause.

But the choreographic manoeuvre most favoured in Government is the old-fashioned sidestep. Ever since Charlie Haughey launched the craze in the early 1990s, inviting Michael Smurfit to "step aside", this simple routine has been a popular way for Government appointees to unwind in times of crisis.

The former chief scientific adviser Barry McSweeney is the latest to take it up, shuffling laterally into the Department of Communications, with or without his doctorate, where he will become research co-ordinator.

Popular as it is, Pat Rabbitte would like to see even more Government people doing it. When Micheál Martin queried his figures, the Labour leader riposted that Mr Martin wouldn't know a figure "if it jumped up and bit you". He added: "if I had anything to do with it, it wouldn't be just Mr McSweeney that was being moved aside".

Meanwhile, Mr Ahern strongly defended the side-stepping science adviser. Doctorates might differ and patients die, but it would be a bad day for the country if a small mistake meant you had to "dump people on the street", he said.

John Gormley was unimpressed by the explanation: "Spin, spin, spin!" he shouted.