All the locals are tight-lipped, but in a pleased sort of way, writes Róisín Ingle in Glaslough
In the absence of hard facts, locals in the tiny Co Monaghan village where Paul McCartney is expected to marry Heather Mills tomorrow are doing their best to cheer up a desolate media pack already suffering from celebrity wedding fatigue.
The best story going round Glaslough yesterday concerned a couple of tourists who lost their way in the meandering backroads of this Border area.
Two men were busy cutting silage when one of the disorientated travellers popped his head out the window and asked for directions to the wedding venue, the splendid 17th-century Castle Leslie.
The farming men obliged, and the fellow with the English accent, wrinkle-free face and toothy smile thanked them profusely. And this way Cliff Richard and Elton John arrived on time for the pre-nuptial celebrations of their good friend, Sir Paul. And I'm a yellow submarine.
You'll hear a lot more tall tales should you join the growing throng of curious day-trippers making the diversion to tranquil Glaslough in the hope of a glimpse of the former Beatle, Paul (59), and his fiancée, Heather (34), the former model turned anti-landmines activist.
The locals say they are well used to famous visitors and have more interest in the World Cup. Rather cunningly, Sir Paul has chosen the day of the Saudi-Ireland showdown for his big day.
"Sure, we have had them all here," said one man who sunned himself on a bench while watching burly security guards check each and every car passing through the castle gates. "Chris Tarrant and the rest. Nobody makes a fuss. This is the first time things have gone a bit crazy". The craziness means it's virtually impossible to book a room within a five-mile radius of the village. It means helicopters buzzing in the sky over the castle's 1,000-acre grounds.
A small boy peers hopefully through binoculars after telling you he has "no comment" to make about whether or not he is excited by all the activity.
So far he has spotted few flying celebrities, just camera crews or photographers hoping for aerial shots of the giant marquees, the boats on the lake, the flowers, the cake, anything. Crazy is the uncharacteristic rush on newspapers at the local shop because these days events in Glaslough feature on the front pages of most of them.
When there is this little to go on, desperate measures are sought. One inventive reporter almost got access to St Salvator's Protestant church in the castle grounds yesterday. There was a christening, and she convinced a couple of local women to pretend they were her great-aunts because only parishioners were being allowed access.
Dressed in her Sunday best she passed through security check No 1, but fell at the final hurdle. She may well have been luckier had she donned riding gear. Horses and their mounts trotted through the gates at regular intervals on their way to the equestrian centre.
One local who attended the christening was Diane Kendrick, owner of the Coach House pub in the village.
"The church doesn't look ready for a wedding," she reported, and it is still unclear whether the actual ceremony will take place there. "But I got married there 13 years ago, and it is an idyllic setting."
She said there was great excitement in the village and delight that the event was putting the area on the map. The enterprising landlady had even booked local musician Packie Magee to serenade her customers with Beatles songs last night. "It's a sort of tribute," she said.
"We want to show that Glaslough is not a sleepy village that has never seen a star."
The smallest detail about the wedding was as precious as gold dust to reporters representing every organisation from CNN to People magazine. But the man who delivered 50 boxes of the finest champagne to the castle over the weekend was loath to reveal McCartney's chosen brand. "I'd be shot," he laughed.
And even Castle Leslie's owner, Samantha Leslie, would only say: "All I can tell you is that everyone is enjoying the buzz. To everything else, I say no comment."