Chewing-gum manufacturers should develop a gum that self-destructs when it leaves the mouth and is exposed to the elements, according to a member of Cootehill town commissioners in Co Cavan. He was speaking during a lengthy debate on the problem of chewing-gum on footpaths. "Commissioners on sticky wicket by gum!" cried the Anglo-Celt.
"We thought it was the end of the world" a shocked resident of Ballygawley, Co Sligo, told the Sligo Champion after a freak 100 m.p.h. "twister" ripped through the village.
"Some householders are facing repair bills running into thousands of pounds after the ferocious whirlwind, which lasted no more than a few minutes, ripped slates from roofs, demolished fences and sent items such as garden furniture and domestic refuse hurtling into the air. Villagers have described how the cone-shaped twister swept viciously through the area shortly after 2.30 p.m. on Tuesday afternoon, lifting everything in its wake," reported the Champion.
An unusual dental metaphor graced the front page of the Con- naught Telegraph: "Dental plant to `fill' jobs void: A leading Irish-American industrialist has proved he hasn't forgotten his roots by providing a multi-million pound, 150 jobs, boost for his native Claremorris area."
And if you want to save on your beef bill, head for Co Clare. The Clare Champion reported that a calf was sold for a mere £8 last week, because the continuing fodder shortage has made calves too expensive to feed.
According to the Echo, a vet in Tallaght, Co Dublin, left a frozen Great Dane on its owner's doorstep after the dog had lain in the vet's freezer for two weeks and the owner had not paid the bill for putting the dog down. The vet, who felt he had no alternative, left a letter of apology, but the owner wasn't happy about it, declaring "it is bad practice".
If you're interested in buying a semi-d for a mere £20,000 then move to Carrick-on-Suir, a bargain town for property, according to the Munster Express. In Naas, a two-bedroom cottage recently sold for £129,000. The auction attracted 30 people, including six serious bidders, stated the Leinster Express.
Five county councillors have been paid up to £2,500 each for chairing one committee meeting each, claimed the Limerick Leader. The five - three from Fianna Fail, one from Fine Gael and one Progressive Democrat - were elected as chairmen of five special policy committees last year, but only one meeting of each committee has been held, due to industrial relations difficulties.
The US First Lady, Mrs Hillary Clinton, will be conferred with the freedom of the city when she visits Galway next month, said the Connacht Tribune.
The Kerryman has grown rather fond of front-page editorials lately, choosing the soap-box again last week to argue that the profits from Aer Rianta's sale of three landmark hotels in Co Kerry "must stay in Kerry". Any other outcome, would be "an outrage to the people of Kerry", it declared. The proposal to sell the Great Southern and Torc hotels in Killarney, and the Parknasilla Hotel near Sneem, has "nothing wrong in principle . . . provided adequate care is taken to ensure the continued viability of the hotels and assurances are given to workers".
"However, there is absolutely no justification whatsoever for Aer Rianta using the money it may make from the sale of hotels in Kerry in its Cork, Shannon and Dublin airports. The effect of this would be to render even less attractive Kerry's tourism product - it would build up airports outside Kerry to the disadvantage of Kerry airport specifically and Kerry tourism generally." The Kerryman added: "Kerry has been black-guarded enough on the Objective 1 issue - we cannot remain silent at the prospect of yet another attack on the well-being of our county."