Charge of the Lite brigade

`It couldn't happen here." Well, it could, and it did

`It couldn't happen here." Well, it could, and it did. A special edition of Prime Time was devoted to the events on Monday after the horrors of the weekend left 15 people needing hospital treatment after a riot on the streets of the Kilkenny. The facts are these: Presenters from Lyric FM and Lite FM had gathered outside the Kilkenny Arts Centre to attend a performance by the popular opera singer Finbar Wright on Saturday night. Both sets of presenters had been drinking heavily since afternoon; the Lyric contingent knocking back copious amounts of gin and tonics, while the team of Lite broadcasters were "out of it" on cider and lager shandies. Trouble was bound to occur, and by 6 p.m. ugly scenes, reminiscent of Chareloi during the recent European Football Championship, had erupted.

A grim-faced Tommy Gorman described how he had witnessed Lorcan Murray, who presents the Lyric Lunchtime Choice, being beaten savagely around the head by unidentified Lite presenters, believed to be connected to that station's drivetime show. Viewers were then shown footage of the familiar figure of Lyric's Eamonn Lawler being rugby-tackled to the ground by the same thuggish Lite element who then proceeded to kick him savagely in the face and chest as he lay helpless. He may not be able to present his popular programme of relaxing music, Into The Evening With Eamonn Lawler, for several months. (Derek Davis is tipped to fill in).

A counter-charge was then mounted by the incensed Lyric crew, and they proceeded to kick and punch their way into the Lite mob, chanting disgusting obscenities. By this stage, gardai had arrived on the scene and order was gradually restored, but not before several presenters had received life-threatening injuries, most of them, thankfully, not serious.

Detective Sergeant Jim Morton condemned the behaviour of both sets of presenters, and revealed how he had earlier urged the Arts Festival organisers to cancel the concert. This they refused to do, a decision my partner, the nationalist poet and feminist Orla Ni Suibh, described as "ridiculous". It was obvious, according to Prime Time guest, Fine Gael TD Ivan Yeats, that the Lyric presenters had taken exception to the presence of the Lite presenters at the venue. Finbar Wright was very much "Lyric territory", and they had made it clear that there would be trouble if anyone from Lite turned up to see his performance. By 2 p.m. they had began taunting the Lite presenters with chants of "Phil Collins, Phil Collins" a reference to the kind of mind-numbing musical "shite" churned out by Lite.

READ MORE

Consultant psychiatrist at St Brendan's Hospital, Dr Paul Sheehy, while condemning the violence, saw the incident as evidence of the pressure on radio presenters working in the commercial sector. "The idea of something similar happening in the UK between presenters of Radio 4 and Radio 5 Live is unthinkable", he remarked, peering menacingly at Miriam O'Callaghan over his psychiatrist's half-spectacles. "Where's Dr Anthony Clare when we need him?!" joked Orla as we watched in our flat in Howth. (She knew very well where he was; on his way over to us for dinner).

MIRIAM posed a reasonable question; "Are we now no better than the English soccer thugs who rioted at Euro 2000?" Garret FitzGerald asked for clarification; was she referring to the Lyric/Lite presenters or the other studio guests? When Miriam said that she was not referring to the studio guests (Mitchell McLaughlin, Reg Empey and Zig and Zag), Garrett stated that we were better than the English soccer thugs, but not as good as the other studio guests. The other guests concurred, to the extent that I thought I saw, at one point, Mitchell McLaughlin kissing Reg Empey. (When I reviewed this on the video afterwards I discovered that I had completely imagined this incident. I had been very drunk when I watched the programme.)

The scenes in Kilkenny, while sickening, violent, and disgraceful, at least made great TV, and hopefully we can expect more of this sort of thing in RTE's autumn schedule.

Arthur Mathews was co-writer of Father Ted (Channel 4) and Big Train (BBC2), and writer of Hippies (BBC2)