I imagine there were many people who felt similar to my friends and myself the other weekend. We were tired after a long day at the races and had collapsed at our local pub - a team expedition into a restaurant in the city centre was looking increasingly unlikely and cooking something at home was out of the question. We were perfect customers for the Restaurant Express Menu Directory - a service that brings restaurant food to your home. The service started in November 1995 when Frank Kennedy left his job with Aer Lingus. Having travelled all over the world he had seen similar services work well in the US and Australia. Frank, and Kieran Boles who joined him after six months, felt the lifestyle - and income - of Irish people was changing rapidly, so a similar service, bringing restaurant-quality food to people in their own homes, should work well here too.
Over two years later Restaurant Express is proving them right. The number of restaurants on the list is continually increasing and wine, chocolate and cheese, are also on offer.
The idea of having food delivered is not a new one. Many of us spend less time in the kitchen these days, and whereas getting an Indian or a pizza delivered was once a novelty or a treat, it is now a regular part of many people's diets.
The key to Restaurant Express is the choice of restaurants on offer and the extensive menu options of each. The green booklet boasting a range of Thai, Japanese, Lebanese, Mexican and vegetarian cuisines is a delight - I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling I will sprout feathers and a beak if I see one more Chicken Chow Mein arriving at my door in a silver foil container. So last Saturday night, five friends and I gave the service a test drive. Being scrupulously fair as well as hungry and, of course, discerning, we decide to give them what we feel is a fairly average order. We each want just a main course, and while most of us think the offerings of the Cedar Tree, a Lebanese restaurant on St Andrews Street, sound irresistible, there are two of us who insist on the Chili Club on Anne's Lane. Fools that we are, we think we now have the most difficult bit - choosing from the extensive menu - over and done with, but the hassle has only just begun. When I first ring, on a mobile phone from the pub, I am told rather abruptly that there is no way they will go to two restaurants as they are far too busy. After a quick consultation, we plump for the Cedar Tree, only to hear that the Cedar Tree is unavailable as they are too busy.
When I say that I need a little time to confer with my team mates (at this stage it's all beginning to feel a little like University Challenge), I'm told rather smartly that I'd need to hurry as each restaurant will only take one order at a time and the Chili Club might well be gone by the time I ring back. We transfer our attentions to the Old Dublin on Francis Street and hastily re-order. This time we get a more amenable receptionist who is both efficient and pleasant, ringing us back when the mobile cuts off midorder. She takes our order and says the food will arrive in about an hour and 10 minutes - a long wait but it is Saturday night and luckily we're in a pub and aperitifs are close at hand. We arrive home 15 minutes early to find a very irate delivery man on our doorstep, who practically shouts that he has been waiting 20 minutes for us and where were we?
Now, I would be annoyed if I'd had to wait for us but I had asked when we should expect the food and said I was not in the house.
By the time we sat down to eat, we all felt we had done 10 rounds with Tyson while on the Nutron diet - starving, hassled and defensive. The food itself was delicious; a medley of seafood in a fine saffron sauce, a grand fillet of beef Novgorod that came with a fleet of little pots containing caviar butter and a rich and creamy sauce; a planked sirloin Hussar that was pronounced delicious.
But it still came in silver foil containers, it needed a little reheating, my front room was no restaurant and it cost nearly £100 without wine, starters, desserts etc.
Of course, the logistical problems behind all our complaints are understandable. When I talk to managing director Kieran Boles, he agrees that at busy times demand for drivers means a choice of restaurants is unlikely. The receptionist will also try and dissuade you from ordering food from restaurants that are far apart or a long distance from your home, as they can't then guarantee the quality of the food. If a restaurant is full and can't fill an order they will ring Restaurant Express and the customer will be unable to order from that menu - that Saturday, three out of the 17 restaurants were off the menu.
Still, many of our original reasons for choosing Restaurant Express in the first place were completely defeated by the time we actually sat down to eat. We had chosen to "Eat Out At Home" as their slogan goes, because we wanted something easier and more relaxed than a restaurant - but there were more than a few frayed nerves by the time the food arrived. We also had a split jury, with some people wanting to eat Lebanese and some Thai - in the end we all ate Eastern European and enjoyed it, but the idea of choice had gone. My friends summed it up thus: "Well, if you wanted to stay in and watch the football with a few beers, you were sick of Chinese and Indian takeaways and you couldn't be bothered going out, it would be perfect." To which a slightly more cynical mate added: "Would you be bothered with all that hassle then?", while someone else remarked darkly that he would "expect more charm and better service" for his money. Ah, the money, this is the other problem some people have with the service.
The customer is charged restaurant prices plus a 12 per cent delivery charge, yet the restaurant has no overheads, no service costs and what you are eating is not quite as you would get it in a restaurant - where's the fine starched linen and the coriander garnish?
Kieran Boles defends the pricing admirably. "One driver is sent out with your order, unlike many takeaways where they will wait for four or five to build up. To be honest, it's very expensive to get reliable people to work at night and the printing bills for the brochure are also huge. We don't charge the restaurant anything and of course we have to cover costs."
They are obviously doing something right as they say that 77 per cent of their orders are repeat business, and the menu brochure is now in its third edition. When they started two years ago they had to persuade restaurants to join the scheme as the businesses were wary about the quality of the food. Now, however, they are being contacted by restaurants who want to join the scheme because, as Boles points out, it's a superb way of making sure their menu is seen. Over the two years, eating patterns have changed too - initially the Italian and Chinese restaurants were most popular as the Irish were used to these foods. Now, the more unusual cuisines are flying out - Thai, Lebanese and Japanese. Interestingly, people are becoming more discerning about their wine too - when the wine service was first offered, 90 per cent of people wanted the cheapest house wine. Now a good 50 per cent are going for the better wines, probably because they are offered at such competitive prices. There is even a coupon you can send if you find an off-licence selling your bottle for less.
"We're a company with so many moving parts that we've had to accept there will sometimes be problems," sighs Kieran. "However, we do our best to sort them out and offer a credit or a bottle of wine if there was a real inconvenience. We also encourage people to fill in the response questionnaire by offering £5 free credit, as it really helps us to liaise with the restaurant owners and find out where the problems lie.
"This is not just an ordinary take-away - what you are getting is restaurant quality food delivered to you at home. It is a bit more expensive but what we're really offering is another option, a bit of choice in home eating, and people seem to enjoy it."
Restaurant Express Menu Directory, phone 01 6706666.