Niall Stokes, Editor, Hot Press Magazine.

Where did you go to school?

Synge Street CBS, until they threw me out.

What was your best subject?Mitching.

What was your worst subject?

I wasn't any good at learning the Catechism.

If you could put a new subject on the Leaving Cert, what would it be?

I think there's something called home economics on the curriculum, but everyone should be taught how to cook. That so many people hit their 20s unable to do anything more adventurous than sticking a frozen pizza in the oven is absurd.

What was your earliest career ambition?

To win the Le Mans 24-hour race.

Who was your favourite teacher and why?

Mr Lillis. We loved the way he rolled the spit around on his tongue.

Who was your childhood idol?

Muhammad Ali.

Who was your best friend?

I wasn't into that sort of thing.

What is he doing now?

There're a few guys I bump into every now and then, but I really have no idea what the vast majority are doing. It was just a phase I went through.

What TV programme/film most reminds you of your schooldays?

Podge and Rodge. We could be a bit salty at times.

What song most reminds you of your schooldays?

An Poc Ar Buile. Synge St was a complete madhouse, with loads of people running amok. Especially teachers.

What food most reminds you of your schooldays?

Only the other day I remembered the jam sandwiches that they used to give us for lunch. The best thing about them was when you were asked to go to the yard to carry them into the school, along with the crates of milk. After that it was all down hill.

What's the boldest thing you ever did in school?

Urinating on the floor. I was in high infants and the teacher hadn't responded kindly when I asked "An bhfuil cead agam dul amach?" I think she then thought that I did it deliberately.

Who did you bring to your debs?

Where we came from, we didn't understand what the word meant. In fact I still don't know what it's all about.

What was your most memorable holiday?

Every one. The prospect of holidays was the only thing that kept me going.

What was the last book you read?

I'm currently reading Keith Ridgway's Animals, which I am thoroughly enjoying. Now that you mention it, Animals has a decidedly Kafkaesque dimension that reminds me of school.

Did you go to college and if so, what did you study?

English and history in UCD.

Would you send your own children to the same school that you went to?

Ah, no. I know it was a different era, and they pushed us scholarship-class boys harder than the rest, but so much of it was horrible and pointless. They were so exam-driven that we did everything through Irish to see if we could get 110 per cent. I was good enough not to get done too often myself, but I used to feel sick at the prospect of watching other guys getting whacked. Bad memories all the way, I'm afraid.

What was the best thing about your education?

A close-run race between winning the crucifix for getting first in the class and the free gur cakes that the woman in the Monument Creamery in Camden Street used to give me every day for about a year. Lord knows what inspired her, but it was manna from heaven.

What was the worst thing about your education?

I always hated getting up for school. And if I had to go again tomorrow, I'd feel the same.