Current job: Author, The Very Man, People Like Us.

What schools did you go to? Rathdown in Glenageary, Co Dublin, and St Conleth's on Clyde Road, Dublin 4.

Best subject? English

Worst subject? Irish

What's the most rebellious thing you ever did in school? Very petty vandalism.

Who was your favourite teacher and why? A Spanish and English teacher who seemed to love Spanish and English.

Who was the object of your first crush? A friend's sister, when I was six and she was five. It never went anywhere.

What was your earliest career ambition? Lighthouse keeper.

Did you go to college? Yes.

What song most reminds you of your schooldays? How Soon is Now? by The Smiths.

What would you look for if choosing a school now? Happy teachers.

Were your schooldays the best days of your life? No, thankfully.