Pre-teen girls can be right little wagons, as anyone who has ever been one knows. If your daughter is the one being shunned by the in-crowd, reassure her that it has nothing to do with her and that genuine friends will like her as she is. Girls who are socially ridiculed develop negative body images, says Dr L Kris Gowen who studied 157 girls between the ages of 10 and 13. After being victimised by other girls, they wrongly concluded the teasing was their fault because they weren't pretty or thin enough. Girls can be permanently scarred by such humiliations, so it is crucial that parents teach their pre-teenaged girls that they are not to blame for being teased. Explain that there will always be girls who construct their identities by bonding with a few select allies, while excluding other girls. Cliques are about power and control, not friendship.

Girls who have negative self-images form exclusive cliques in order to feel better about themselves. This usually involves picking apart girls outside the clique, by teasing them about their alleged faults. Many victims of such bullying are terrified to speak up, while witnesses to the bullying may stay silent for fear of being rejected or targeted next. Talk to your daughter about the possibility of reaching out to rescue a victim, and what the result might be. Also, talk to your daughter's teacher privately, but never address the issue with other mothers. You may get burned as badly as your daughter.