Once the school-runs and homework start, a build-up of toxic family stress isn't far behind. If you feel like making a fresh start with the new school year, there's a brilliant little book full of inspiration, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff with Your Family: Simple Ways to Keep Daily Responsibilities and Household Chaos from Taking Over Your Life by Richard Carlson (Hyperion, $10.75 at Amazon.com).
Amongst the advice:
1. Set a positive emotional climate: "Just like a garden that flourishes best under certain conditions, your home operates more smoothly when the emotional climate is well thought out. Rather than simply reacting to each crisis and circumstance as it arises, setting and emotional climate gives you a head start in fending off potential sources of stress and conflict."
2. Give yourself an extra 10 minutes: "When you ask a typical person or family what stresses them out the most, it's rare that someone doesn't include the fact that they are almost always running `a few minutes behind' . . . . Irrespective of where you're headed, tell yourself that, no matter what, you're going to be ten minutes early instead of waiting until the last possible moment to rush out the door."
3. Keep in mind that a happy spouse is a helping spouse: "When your spouse feels happy and appreciated, he or she will want to be of help to you! On the other hand, when your spouse feels unhappy and/or taken for granted, the last thing in the world he or she will feel like doing is making your life easier!"
4. Learn from kids, as they live in the moment: "Essentially, all it involves is putting less attention on worries, concerns, regrets, mistakes, `what's wrong?', things yet to be done, things that bother you, the future, and the past. Living the present simply means living life now, with your attention fully engaged in the present moment."
5. Protect your privacy: "It might mean letting your answering machine pick up your messages or screen your calls . . . Why is it that we interrupt the ones we love to answer a call from someone we may not even know? Put a cap on the number of your children's friends you invite to come over in any given week."
