Dáil Sketch:No prisoners are being taken in the all-out war that is marking the dying Dáil weeks in the run-up to the May general election.
Yesterday Bertie Ahern was reminded again of his U-turn in his ardfheis speech, while John O'Donoghue, a Minister with impeccable Rottweiler credentials, was forced to deny that he was a pimp or a wimp.
Nobody, however, remarked on the return of Fianna Fáil's prodigal son, Minister Séamus Brennan, who last week briefed the media on the need for prudence and financial rectitude only to find Mr Ahern announce several election promises at the ardfheis.
On Tuesday Pat Rabbitte wondered why Mr Brennan was missing from the House, expressing concern about his welfare.
Yesterday Mr Brennan sat on the ministerial benches, nobody commenting on his presence.
He had the sombre, well-scrubbed demeanour of a politician who had been hung out to dry.
Meanwhile, Enda Kenny had to confess that he had missed Mr Ahern's ardfheis speech.
"The Taoiseach made a mighty burst at the auld Irish language on Saturday night," said Mr Kenny. "I was in Berlin at a meeting of the European People's Party and did not get to see him."
The Fine Gael leader said he was not sure what Mr Ahern had to say about the Irish language.
"He is not sure himself," observed Mr Rabbitte.
Conceding fallibility, a rare political admission these days, Mr Ahern said he had raised the Harris report on the quality of the language in primary schools with Mary Hanafin previously.
"I cannot recall what I said about it the last time, so I had better check it," he added.
During heated exchanges relating to the health services, Mr Rabbitte accused the Taoiseach of using "sleeveen, weasel words" about the HSE.
"That is not nice," sighed Mr O'Donoghue.
Mr O'Donoghue himself came in for some strong words later when he answered routine ministerial questions relating to his sporting portfolio.
Paul Gogarty, of the Greens, was critical of the Irish Sports Council's association with SuperValu in a Kids In Action scheme. It was a "morally bankrupt and corrupt practice", said Mr Gogarty.
Children, he said, were collecting bundles of €10 vouchers to get equipment. Their purchase, he added, must amount to almost €4,000 for a GAA football worth less than €20.
Mr O'Donoghue insisted that the council was "neither morally bankrupt nor corrupt".
Mr Gogarty, clearly feeling that he had a political football in his hands, wondered if the Minister was a pimp, allowing a body under his remit to prostitute itself in such a deal.
"I am neither a pimp nor a wimp," said Mr O'Donoghue, returning the political football, with a sharp kick, in Mr Gogarty's direction.
It was the very stuff of election politics.
The attempts at point-scoring will continue in Leinster House right up to the day Mr Ahern calls the election.
All sides will also be striving to avoid own goals.
