Babies adapt and parents learn

I have realised over the past couple of months that, apart from the lack of sleep, we are really lucky with how easy Tim is

I have realised over the past couple of months that, apart from the lack of sleep, we are really lucky with how easy Tim is. He and I spent the week running up to my sister's wedding, where people were coming and going all week.

Tim was picked up and handed around and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. It also struck me during the week how, for such a long time, I had made life difficult for myself. For the first three months of Tim's life he woke up at 6 a.m. and I would get up, shower and bring him downstairs to feed.

He would go back to sleep about an hour later and I would still be up, exhausted. Since then, I have fed Tim his first feed in our room. Then we have around an hour of play and he goes back to sleep beside me. I had no idea about babies when I look back.

When he was only a week or so old I was worried that I had no toys for him to play with. I asked my sister to get him a musical toy and a rattle. She returned with a large mobile for a cot and a large banana with legs, arms, bangles, bells and whistles. He was three months old before he had the slightest idea what to do with it!

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I was slightly worried about what we would do with Tim for the wedding, but a friend stepped in and offered to babysit. Godmother to about twenty children, her credentials are perfect. She arrived before we had to go and stayed until I staggered in again around 3 a.m.

It was the first time Tim had been babysat and I had a list of worries - would she know what to do when Tim got sick, as he invariably would after eating; would she remember to change his nappy before he went to bed; would he make a fuss being put to bed by a "stranger"...? Naturally, they got on perfectly well.

The day after the wedding we held a barbecue for the stragglers. A number of my sister's friends brought their babies, ranging in age from two weeks (so tiny), to the nine-month-old daughter of the best man, who was brought to meet Tim. She stretched out her hand and very firmly removed his soother from his mouth and transferred it to her own.

After a moment's hesitation, a disgruntled Tim yelled, swiftly followed by outraged cries from the little thief! The soother was returned hastily as both mothers tried not to laugh and took their children out of each other's sight until peace was restored. In spite of Tim's propensity to eat absolutely anything (the back of a chair found particular favour at home), his soother seems to be sacrosanct and his alone!

Life returned to normal the following week. My elder sister and her fiancé came to visit. A cousin has also got engaged and has asked Tim to be a pageboy at his wedding. We will have to see if he is able to walk by then first!

Tim is now six months old, and has two teeth. He is starting in the crèche shortly when I return to work. When I began this column I had no idea what lay ahead. Although there have been ups and downs, I've enjoyed every minute of my new role as a mother and columnist. We are looking forward to the days, months and years ahead with Tim.

Susan Hayden is an Irish Times staff member who has charted the first months of her baby son Tim - this is her last column