For 20 years, Clare* - a mother of four children - lived with the reality of domestic violence.
Although the violence was sporadic, she says her husband's moods controlled the atmosphere at home and the "threat of physical violence" was always present.
Clare mistakenly believed her children weren't aware of what was going on.
"Most of the incidents took place at night in our bedroom or downstairs, while the children were in bed. So, I just assumed that the children had no idea of what was going on," she recalls. "Also, I didn't want to bad-mouth their father to them."
In hindsight, Clare now realises that her children would often lie awake at night terrified that their father would seriously injure or kill their mother.
"It was only later on that I realised the profound effect that it had on my children. My eldest child in a sense acted like a surrogate mother to her other siblings; when she was 16, however, she became very depressed and developed an eating disorder. Some of the other children also developed vague physical symptoms.
"Domestic violence can affect children within the same family differently: two of my children, for example, were under-achievers in school, while the other two threw themselves into their work."
Three of her four children are no longer in contact with their father, but, Clare says, they still have mixed feelings towards him.
"When we left home for the first time, my children wanted to return after a few weeks because they actually missed their father and they believed that he would change. But things just went back to the way they were and in the end we left for good. As my son said recently, he will always be their father but he is no longer their Dad."
Clare believes there needs to be more specialised services for children who experience domestic violence. In particular, she says, her children would have appreciated being able to talk to someone objective who had gone through a similar experience. Listening to what children have to say is important, she says, particularly among social workers, teachers and the gardaí.
"Children are very good at sensing if something is wrong; so, covering up something or making children feel like it has nothing to do with them only makes things worse, because it plays with their trust and makes them feel totally helpless," she adds.
* Name has been changed.