That's men for you: Are you in the doghouse? The "you" to whom I refer is, of course, a man. Women don't get put into the doghouse. It is a residence exclusively reserved for the male of the species.
Nor can men put each other in the doghouse unless, I suppose, they are in a gay relationship. With the aforementioned exception, the key to the doghouse is exclusively held by the woman in your life.
Chambers Dictionary describes the doghouse as "a place of disgrace".
I am not sure it has captured the full flavour of the doghouse experience in that definition.
Yes, when you are in the doghouse you are in disgrace for some lapse or misdemeanour. Usually you know what that lapse or misdemeanour is. Sometimes you have absolutely no idea.
Either way, you are in disgrace. But there is more than that going on. There is also a sort of cleansing process in train which is designed to make you fit for female company again.
This cleansing process is a bit like money laundering in which dirty money is processed through a series of accounts to make it clean again.
The doghouse process involves putting you through experiences such as silences, sighs, pursed lips and general indications that your welfare is of no interest to your partner.
When you are let out of the doghouse you gradually become an acceptable human being again. Your sins are put to one side. You are entitled to take your place once more at the table of humanity.
It is a peculiar process and one which men seem to experience quite a lot.
"Are you in the doghouse?" I asked a man once. "Are we ever out of it?" he replied.
His attitude, I thought, was somewhat pessimistic but certainly men must get used to the idea that they will be spending time in the doghouse during their one life on this earth.
There is a certain etiquette to being in the doghouse.
For instance, it is important to maintain a respectful silence as if it does not matter to you at all that your partner is never going to speak to you again.
You must also maintain a sort of dignified bearing while you are in the doghouse. You are not a man who shuffles or stumbles about the place.
You are a man who knows his own importance and to whom dignity is everything.
And, of course, you must display a supreme indifference to the question of whether your dinner is cooked for you.
Your attitude must be that you are quite prepared to make your own dinner every day for the rest of your life if required.
Perhaps you might even do a little bit of tidying or washing-up to demonstrate that you are entirely self-sufficient.
Being in the doghouse is not the worst thing that can happen. For instance, it is not as bad as being kicked out onto the street or being divorced.
He who is in the doghouse will be let out of the doghouse - eventually.
That said, the doghouse is a tiring and an unpleasant place in which to be.
Women tell me that they also find the whole process to be tiring and unpleasant.
And that is why I always think that a key skill in handling relationships between people living together is the skill of getting over a row quickly.
Rows there will be - that it is inevitable.
But if you could have a rule that one or the other of you will try to make up within an hour or so of an average row, you might not have to have the tiring doghouse experience.
Perhaps that is a counsel of perfection. It can be done some of the time, but not all the time. We men must get used to the idea that we will be spending some time in the doghouse and not get too upset over it.
After all, we love the women who put us there and they love us.
• Padraig O'Morain is a journalist and counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.