There are ways of dealing with adversity more ably - namely, by having resiliency
MOST OF us can't comprehend the devastation of losing everything - our home and all its contents - suddenly and with no chance of retrieving even one personal belonging.
Yet some 842 homes were destroyed in the most recent Southern California wildfires, leaving the people who lived in them without shelter, possessions or, in some cases, much more than the clothes they were wearing when they fled. As they sift through rubble, deal with insurance companies and attempt to return to normality, some people will fare better than others, finding their emotional footing more quickly, and coping with adversity more ably. In a word, they have resiliency.
"There is no one factor that will predict who's going to do well and who's not going to do well," says Demy Kamboukos, a research scientist at the Institute for Trauma and Resilience at the New York University Child Study Center. "It's really a combination of genetic predispositions and interactions with family and community."
Perhaps the most important inborn trait is being even-tempered. Then there are problem-solving skills, which give both adults and kids a feeling of control. These are especially useful during times of crisis, when decisive action is needed.
Similarly, being expressive and outgoing makes for an easier time after a disaster, says Karin Hart, a psychologist and clinical instructor at the University of California, Los Angeles. Those traits can make a person more likely to ask for help.
"Having connections and good relationships is so crucial in recovering from trauma," Hart says. "It's really important to get help from people who care about you and are willing to listen to you. It's invaluable.''
Not all traits that make people more resilient are innate. Many - such as adapting to change - can be learned, says Jana Martin, a psychologist and spokeswoman for the American Psychological Association.
Thinking about how past upheavals - even small ones - were lived through can help people get through major turmoils.
"If you had a good friend who moved away, you learned through that experience that you can adapt and be happy no matter what," Martin says. "Also, you can talk to people who have been through tough times and ask them what they're doing to get through."
However, having experienced several major traumas can make some people less resilient, says Janine Shelby, director of the Child Crisis Center at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center.
So can having a personal or family history of psychiatric illness, family health problems and socioeconomic or intellectual difficulties. Still, much of what factors into being resilient boils down to attitude - whether people see themselves as victim or survivor and whether they perceive their circumstances as insurmountable or manageable.
Understanding how to take small steps and make manageable goals are ways of feeling more in control. But even being resilient doesn't make someone immune from the emotional highs and lows that are sure to accompany a catastrophe. "It's when we get stuck on those stages - depression or denial or blame or anger - that it creates consequences and spills into other phases of life," said Stephen Mayberg, director of the California Department of Mental Health. "The quicker you can get back to normal, the better you're going to deal with the challenges ahead of you."
- (Los Angeles Times/ Washington Post)