How to break it to your teenagers

IF you want your teenage children to survive your own marital infidelity, you should keep a few key points in mind, advises Claire…

IF you want your teenage children to survive your own marital infidelity, you should keep a few key points in mind, advises Claire Missen of Teen Between, the Marriage Counselling Service's programme for teenagers (telephone 01-8720341)

. Do give your teenagers information but spare them the lurid details.

. Don't push your new partner on your teenage children. They will meet them when they are ready.

. Do allow them to be angry with you. They feel as hurt and rejected as your spouse does.

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. Don't ask them to take sides.

. Don't ask them to carry messages for you.

. Don't run down your spouse as an excuse for the infidelity, then tell your child "you are just like your mother/father".

. Do expect rows and strong feelings.

. Remember that your second chance for happiness may not be theirs.