The Aga Khan. It's like a type of Eurovision Song Contest that we let Americans enter. Instead of nul points, competitors get eight faults. Instead of glamorous presenters there are white-haired men with top hats and tails. As in the singing event, the UK are our greatest rivals. Oh - and the Irish are usually quite good at it. This time, however, the Netherlands, a nation which hasn't won the Eurovision for ages - and the Aga Khan ever - took the trophy, leaving us and the British tied in second place.
It wasn't the only toppling of convention. In a day packed with tradition, the animals refused to play ball. The horses in the Aga Khan were so hot to (fox)trot, they completely stole the show in the opening parade of the competition, most of them horsing around to the music of the Army and Naval bands with equine abandon when they were supposed to be standing proudly still.
Day three of the 126th horse show was a truly international affair - and that was just the American tourists and noisy army of camera-toting Spanish students spotted in the crowd of happy thousands. The deluge of Wednesday which threatened to turn all events into water-polo had given way to more summery weather.
Observing it all with the air of one who has seen and done it all before was 84-year-old Willie Reynolds from Ballyfermot, Dublin. It was his 47th year working at the show and he sat, walking-stick in hand, at the entrance to the pocket, where the horses assemble, while everyone from stablehand to wealthy horsey folk addressed him saying "Howya Willie?" and "How's the man?" "Everybody knows me," he said rather unnecessarily.
Before the main event began, the competitors walked purposefully around the course as though they were looking for dangerous objects hidden in the grass. This, for those who don't know the Aga Khan from the Aga Doo (Doo Doo), is called a course inspection.
The German chef d'equipe, Sonksen Sonke, declared himself satisfied with the jumps - some of which resembled obstacles from It's a Knockout - while Ireland's Tom my Wade said they looked difficult enough. This inspection lark is quite serious, one of the stewards explained. The competitors measured the space between jumps with striding paces "rather like a racing driver would judge the bends". Two US competitors used some of the time to pose in their fetching red-and-white jumping gear for photographers.
One of the two female members of the Irish team - this is the first year that two women have been chosen - Jessica Kurten was also being photographed on the course and revealed that she had a bad dose of food poisoning from her dinner the night before. I had to go to bed this afternoon, I had really bad stomach cramps," said the glamorous blonde, while still managing to look impossibly healthy. Anyone who has ever had a dodgy tummy would have taken pity on her as she jigged up and down on her horse, Paavo.
For those who don't know one end of a horse from the other, hers was a feat akin to Johnny Logan warbling "What's another year" after an under-done chicken dinner.
A free children's party will be held on the band lawn at the Horse Show tomorrow between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m.